


Hey, Hey, What Can I Do

by hereitisma



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 11:48:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18468340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereitisma/pseuds/hereitisma
Summary: Sooyoung is caught. Leaving behind a summer, only for it to come back and haunt her.But she has more important worries, like Jinsoul's recent break up, and Hyunjin's terrible way of dealing with her feelings.And Jungeun. Well Jungeun...





	1. Shoegazer

A HUGE RED TRANSPORT truck starts with a hoarse roar, black clouds of smoke pour out of its end. The truck lightly dips as its passenger jumps off. Noisy clunks of metal combine with the low rumbles of the engine as the truck begins to make its way down the road.

 

Behind it, breathing in a mixture of the dust and smoke the truck left behind, the passenger wipes her brow. As if out of breath from the long ride, the passenger crouches down, balancing on her heels and breathing heavily. She focuses on the ground below her, drawing a pattern into the dust. With her finger she traces seven circles into it, after a second she decides to draw the eighth. From the ground her vision shifts to stare at her shoes, a pair of new white sneakers. She wipes at the edge of the shoe, already covered in dust.

 

She stays that way for a few minutes, letting time pass as not a single car passes down the road. She tightly closes her eyes and mumbles inaudible words to herself.

 

When she opens her eyes movement catches her attention. The lethargic careful steps of a turtle entrance her. Nothing else can be seen moving for miles. After staring for a moment she stands up to capture the turtle in her shadow. The startle of movement brings the turtle to a retreat into his shell. The girl quickly takes off her overshirt and wraps the turtle around in it. She securely stuffs it under her arm.

 

Having caught whatever breath she felt was missing she looks into the horizon. A never ending flat brown landscape surrounds her. A single road splits the flat land in half. At the center of the sky the sun takes up a little too much space.

 

She eyes the road and begins to walk alongside it, the opposite direction the truck had left. 

 

“If I ever get out of here…” She begins to sing. “Thought of giving it all away…”

 

 

Worn dirty brown shoes arrive in front of a home. A large grey home adorned by faded red brick. She stood in front of the white gate, deep in thought. She brought her hand up to open it but quickly stopped, instead she walked back towards the curb and sat down, setting the turtle on the ground as well.

 

Slowly, the turtle continued its efforts, in the exact same direction it had been going when she caught it. She took her phone out and sent a single message.

 

Not a minute passed before the front door of the gray house swung open.

 

She stood quickly but before she could fully turn around she found herself caught in a tight embrace.

 

The girl in her arms screamed: “You’re back!”

 

She stiffly received the hug before quickly melting into it and returning it. The light ringing in her ears had been sorely missed.

 

“I’m back.”

 

After a short while, they pulled away and the short girl smiled at her before looking down and seeing her shoes, “Uh Sooyoung, what happened to your shoes.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Sooyoung smiled. “Hey guess what I got you,” She cocked an eyebrow at the girl before going to recapture the turtle a couple of feet away.

 

The small girl looked confused.

 

“Kids like turtles right? I mean, I liked them… ” Sooyoung shrugged.

 

“I’m not a kid,” the short girl huffed.

 

“You don’t like it?” The turtle squirmed in her hands, no longer retreating into its shell and pathetically kicking in the air.

 

The short girl’s face quickly broke into an apologetic smile. “No!” She waved her hands around. “I mean, yes! I love it Soo, promise.”

 

Sooyoung examined the girl’s expression and only found little signs of disappointment and decided she was satisfied with that. “Hey, I’m sorry I missed your snail funeral, but this guy should make up for it right?” She gave the short girl a pat.

 

The girl took the turtle in her hands. “He’s cute I guess,” Her head perked up with a question, “you got him at a store? Did he come with anything else?”

 

“Oh yeah… Nah, they didn’t give me much.”

 

“Not even a little container?”

 

“Nope. Guess pet stores are different in the south.”

 

“I bet.” The short girl peered at her curiously.

 

Sooyoung brought her hand up to gently rub the turtle’s shell. After a beat of silence she spoke. “You wanna let me use your washing machine? I kept him in my shirt and he peed a little..”

 

“Oh god. Ew. Please come in.”

 

 

Two girls sat at the curb in front of a small burger joint. They sat side by side, sharing a single order of fries with one milkshake sat between them. The girl with long black hair held the red checkered paper tray of fries, she extended it towards the girl next to her. Towards the girl who now wore a more comfortable pair of shoes, sneakers that lacked the ugly wear of her earlier pair. They sat in a comfortable silence, watching the sun sit low in the sky, illuminating the uncomfortable smog in the air.

 

Sooyoung felt the girl next to her shuffle. She braced herself for conversation.

 

“How was it.” The girl with the long black hair spoke. Her question lacking any indication that it was that, a question. With its flat delivery it sounded less like a question and more like a statement, like she introduced the subject but didn’t expect an answer.

 

Instead of answering Sooyoung allowed herself to ponder the delivery of her friend’s question. After a moment she concluded she had to answer:

 

“It was fine.”

 

She knew her friend wouldn’t ask more. She never pushed. She was wonderful like that.

 

Be Honest.

 

The thought rang in her head, she turned to see her friend grab for another fry, probably assuming the conversation was over. 

 

Sooyoung rubbed her hand, and decided to speak once more. “He was nice, Hyunjin. I-I’m glad I went.” Sooyoung gave her an awkward smile.

 

Hyunjin smiled at her back, but instead of awkward it was proud. “I’m glad it was nice.”

 

They sat in silence for a few moments. Sooyoung took a sip of the milkshake, the sweetness stuck to her tongue.

 

“I feel like this year’s going to be different.” She said suddenly.

 

Hyunjin looked up at her. “How so?”

 

“I don't know, it just feels like there’s nothing holding us back.” Sooyoung didn’t know the direction she was going in, she just knew she wanted to tell Hyunjin something. If anyone were to get it it would be her. “I mean, last year we still had a little to lose. Still insecure, lost, hanging around people we didn’t really like. But. It’s different now. There’s nothing really left for us to lose. I don’t care about much, just a few, very little couple of people. And those people, you guys, won’t care if I’m shit you know? Cause’ I’m not shit to you guys, because I care about you. It’s freeing, because with everyone else, I can do whatever the hell I want to. Within reason. But, anything. Because what do I have to lose? So… that’s what I've been thinking. And for some reason, I’m thinking you’re there too.”

 

Sooyoung ended her rant by looking up at the sky, allowing Hyunjin to digest whatever word vomit she just let out.

 

Hyunjin looked thoughtful for a second, before a small smile came to her face. “Yeah I’ve been there for a while Sooyoung.”

 

Sooyoung looked back at the girl next to her, feeling playful. “Geez, yeah you have been huh? I just gotta ask that kid’s jaw.” Sooyoung mimed a dramatic punch and accompanying sound effects.

 

Hyunjin pushed her lightly with a chuckle. “Hey. I’m still sensitive about that.” Hyunjin withdrew a little bit, not fully, but enough that she was a few inches farther away and her eyes rested on the concrete in front of them.

 

Sooyoung shook her head and put a hand on Hyunjin’s knee. “No matter what, it was a sick punch. Don't worry about it.”

 

Hyunjin cracked a smile and scooted back just as close as she had been before.

 

“Anyways. Yeah. I’ve been waiting.”

 

“Well I’m here.” Sooyoung smiled back at her. She stood up for dramatic effect, throwing her arms out to the sky. She shouts, “I’m back. And I’m better than ever!”

 

Hyunjin laughs at her antics. Standing up too she yells out something incoherent.

 

The two yell out like that for a while, till of course the owner of the diner shoos them away.

 

-

 

 

There isn’t much to the first day back. Just the feeling, like getting hit in the face with cold water, of everything crashing back in on you. Every little loose end you abandoned over the summer, every face that completely left your mind, every intention that flew over your head.

 

There wasn’t anything bad about coming back, except all of it coming back at once.

 

Sooyoung didn’t expect it to be so different. She didn’t expect to feel so different.

 

There was something wrong about everyone treating you like someone you aren’t. Except everyone seems to be treating her like a person completely alien to Sooyoung. The thought that she had changed so much that who she was a year ago feels like a stranger, terrifies her. And nobody but her knew that, which somehow made it worse.

 

She feels like an imposter.

 

It was too much by the end of second period.

 

Another thing about the first day is that nothing much happens. The teachers give you a syllabus. The teacher makes the class do an icebreaker, which terrifies the shy kids and bores the outgoing ones. The teacher gives a presentation on themselves, about how they like hiking and how their first child had just been born. Then it's over, and then it starts again.

 

Not to mention, of her friends, Sooyoung had only managed a glimpse of Hyunjin so far. An ominous sense of isolation permeates her body. So by the end of second period, she is barreling out the door, body moving to the usual spot she meets Hyunjin: behind the outdoor stage.

 

The school manages to be so kind as to provide them ten minutes after second period everyday, a break, supposedly for nutrition.

 

Rumors of the freshman class being the biggest the school had ever seen appeared every year, and every year it rings true. This year was no exception.

 

Nausea enters Sooyoung’s body she sees the quad filled to the brim. Students spilling into every crevice, every corner of the campus. She made a beeline to the spot.

 

In the center of the quad sat a raised concrete structure, a flat surface composed of three elevating levels. This spot served as the school’s outdoor ‘stage’, often hosting lunchtime demonstrations and ‘performances’. The stage was framed by a ring of trees, one of which served as a meeting spot for the ‘adventurous’ half of the group, meaning the half willing to wander or leave campus during lunch. Which on most days was composed of Sooyoung and Hyunjin.

 

As Sooyoung neared, she saw more figures at the spot than usual. All crowding around one person.

 

She quickened her pace and Hyunjin quickly spotted her and ran over.

 

“What’s going on?” Sooyoung asked. The nausea she had felt before mixed together with confusion at the pit at her stomach.

 

“Admin locked the buildings to try to teach the freshman to spend break and lunch outside.” Hyunjin explained.

 

“Ah, well I’m talking about that,” Sooyoung pointed at the group with her chin. She counted most of her friends from what she could see.

 

Chaewon. Vivi. Yerim. Yeojin. And, was that Jinsoul? On the ground?

 

“Oh. Well about that—” Hyunjin’s eyes glanced away from her.

 

“Sooyoung!” A cheerful voice and an excited hand pulled her away from Hyunjin and into a slightly smaller girl’s arms.

 

Sooyoung smiled into the hug. A sunshine kind of hug, that could only come from one person. “Hey Yerim.”

 

“Hi Sooyoung! Okay, know I am so so glad to have you back and I’ll tell you all about how much I missed you later.” She pulled out of the hug only to give Sooyoung an apologetic smile. A tinge of sadness pulled the corners of her eyes. “But we’re kind of having a crisis.”

 

Sooyoung furrowed her eyebrows. “What crisis?”

 

Hyunjin’s eyes widened. “Oh, so um—”

 

“Jinsoul got dumped.” Yerim answered abruptly.

 

Hyunjin flinched, incredulous eyes pointing daggers at Yerim.

 

“WHAT.” Sooyoung didn’t expect to yell so loudly, failing to notice how several people in the quad turned to look at the commotion. She did notice that Yerim jumped back a little bit, and she noticed the look that swept over Hyunjin’s face.

 

She couldn’t think about any of that though, she just thought of Jinsoul.

 

She moved past Yerim and rushed over to the rest of the group.

 

“Hey! Sooyoung!” Hyunjin yelled after her.

 

The others fussing over Jinsoul noticed Sooyoung’s name being called, seeing the furious girl march over to them had some breathe a sigh of relief.

 

Everyone except Jinsoul looked to her. Chaewon’s timid expression made Sooyoung notice the tension in her head, the way her heart pounded against her chest, and her painfully tight clenched fist. Reminding her everyone else could see it too.

 

She looked around the group, her first time seeing all of them in months. She decided to swallow her anger down, she didn’t need to direct it at anyone here. She managed a smile at them, most of whom managed to return one.

 

She knew she needed to be the leader right now. They only had ten minutes for break and they had definitely already shaved down a few.

 

So she knelt down next to a weakly crying Jinsoul, whose back was being rubbed by Vivi. Jinsoul clutched her knees to her chest and had her head down.

 

Sooyoung brought her voice down to a gentle rumble. “We only got a few minutes left of break Jinsoulie, whatever happened, we got you okay?”

 

Jinsoul brought her head up slowly, and Sooyoung’s heart ached when she saw the puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. Upon seeing her, a tiny smile came to Jinsoul’s face.

 

“You’re back.”

 

“Of course.” Sooyoung smiled at her, she always smiled at her. She stood up, knowing they had little time left. “Chaewon why don’t you take Jinsoul to the bathroom to clean up?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Chaewon nodded at her, and extended a hand bringing Jinsoul up to full height.

 

They all watched them walk away, Chaewon had an arm around Jinsoul’s waist. From such a small girl it was more emotional support than anything, but that was enough for Sooyoung.

 

She turned to the rest of the group, most of her good feelings leaving with Jinsoul. The anger from earlier crawled up her throat again.

 

She cleared her throat. “What happened.”

 

“Jungeun cheated.” Vivi answered for her.

 

Yeojin looked unsure of Vivi’s answer, but kept her mouth shut.

 

Sooyoung clenches her fists tighter. “What the fuck.”

 

Hyunjin and Yerim join the group, an unspoken message lingering between them. Hyunjin joins Sooyoung’s side.

 

“You good?” Hyunjin asks lowly, casting a worried glance towards her.

 

“I’m fine.” A crack in her delivery tips everyone off otherwise. She feels a twinge of embarrassment. Red faced, Sooyoung huffs. “Just tell me what happened with Jinsoul.”

 

The group all look to each other to answer. Yeojin looking especially helpless. Finally Yerim seems to step forward.

 

“Even though you were the one gone all summer, it somehow felt like Jinsoul was even more distant.She spent a bunch of time with Jungeun, we never saw her.” Yerim says, a pout evident on her face. “We don’t know much, we ran into her a minute before classes started this morning and she looked terrible. I just thought she was sick but, well, you saw.”

 

“And she was babbling something. Saying Junguen was a liar, and something about a girl she saw her with.” Vivi’s expression stayed neutral.

 

“That’s all we got Unnie.” Yeojin chewed her lip. This was her first year, and first day, and she was already experiencing the high school drama. Sooyoung’s heart softened a little.

 

The bell rung, catching everyone off guard. After a shriek from Yerim, everyone moved to grab their things.

 

“Don’t worry guys.” Sooyoung announced. “I’ll take care of it.”

 

Everyone casted a curious glance at Sooyoung.

 

“Huh?” Hyunjin asked, more concerned than anyone else.

 

“Take care of what Unnie?” Yerim asked.

 

Sooyoung gave them a small smile. “Go to class kids… and Vivi.” She tipped her head at her senior, who only rolled her eyes in return.

 

She turned away to go, mind already preoccupied.

 

Hyunjin caught up and walked by her side. She stared at Sooyoung, looking for any indication of intention the girl had.

 

“What did you mean by that Soo?” Hyunjin furrowed her brow.

 

“I’m not sure.” Sooyoung’s voice was level but her eyes wavered.

 

“Don’t do something dumb.”

 

Sooyoung turned her head to look Hyunjin in the eyes while she nodded. That seemed to calm Hyunjin down and the tension left her shoulders. She parted in the opposite direction towards her class.

 

The tension however, never left Sooyoung.

 

It seemed past that point, nothing happened. The rest of the day went unnervingly normal. Sooyoung sat through the presentations, she shared facts about herself to her class, that only she and maybe one other classmate knew were lies. She rushed to the group for lunch, only to find them acting as though nothing had happened. Even Jinsoul acted cheerful, sadness only fluttering behind her eyes. The event only serving to make Sooyoung more resentful of the situation.

 

She found herself staring. Usually, it would’ve been at Jinsoul. But today, when a foot came in contact with her shin, and while she rubbed it and whispered obscenities towards Hyunjin, Hyunjin’s concerned eyes were confused. Which confused her too, it was only then she realized who she had been staring at, and she looked back at the same spot. Where Jungeun’s cold eyes stared back.

 

After school everyone had gone straight home, the day’s events draining everyone.

 

That night Sooyoung was haunted by dreams of thick smoke and drowning in pools of black ink.

 

-

 

The second day is the most jarring. As often, on the first day you can get away without doing anything. The second day however, that’s when it comes crashing down.

 

The leadership class ran late in the day: fifth period. Into the classroom every day pours thirty or so student ‘leaders’. The leadership class enjoy automatic entry into the higher levels of the social stratosphere.

 

Leadership kids are either nice or popular.

 

With such an important position in the school, these leadership kids are given the arduous task of poster making.

 

The hundreds of posters they make, all with varying levels of artistic skill, of course are only crafted with the highest scale art materials. The crayola markers reserved for a lower group has been discarded in favor of actual ink. Which is how this whole situation came to occur.

 

 

The bell rang at 12:40. Class started at 12:44.

 

Jungeun stumbled into the class only a few seconds before the bell rung. She shone a triumphant smile to the teacher and made her way to her seat.

 

Yesterday had been a pretty bad day but her spirits were high.

 

The teacher, Mr. Young had rambled on about how excited he was for the year and the activities he had planned. Jungeun felt her eyelids droop a little the longer he spoke.

 

Ten minutes into his rambling, his eyes fell upon the package on his desk.

 

“And guess what students?” He said all too excitedly as no one responded. “Our friends in the district sent us literal jugs of ink. So for today’s posters if someone could refill a marker containers, well, that would be swell.” He ended his speech with a smile.

 

Everyone got up at once and a low rumble of chatter resounded through the room. Jungeun moved towards the back group of poster makers. It was the unspoken truth that the back group made the worst posters, so they got away with only making a few and talking most of the period.

 

After minutes of aimless chatter Jungeun decides to bulk cut some posters since everyone agreed a long time ago that she should stay far away from the artistic side of poster making. So she kneels down mechanically and begins cutting.

 

While she works she begins to hum a tune to herself. She stops abruptly when the memory of who showed it to her enters her mind.

 

While she did this, the door opens. Jungeun ignores the nearing footsteps, as her mind pulls her elsewhere, her thoughts linger on memories of blonde hair and blue nights.

 

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sudden sensation of cold that envelops her. She screams as she feels the thick liquid cover her back a split second later. When she turns another wave of liquid hits her, this time in the chest.

 

She’s only given a split second to see her assailant, clad in a black hoodie and a strange mask. The mask was white, with gold horns poking past the hoodie. The face was horrific, and for a second she could see the eyes behind the mask, and for a second she felt she knew who it was.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK.”

 

Chaos.

 

The assailant bolted out of the classroom. Everything seemed to erupt in chaos. The teacher was moving to make a call. Some students rush to Jungeun’s side, others pull their phones out, some wildly clamor around the room. Two boys rush out of the room after the assailant. Jungeun pulls at her clothing which is drenched in blue ink and sticking to her body.

 

The chaos is somehow multiplied when not long after, the fire alarm blares.

 

In a hellish clamor to the exits, Jungeun realizes she would appear in front of everybody absolutely drenched.

 

She weighs her options: her life or her popularity. She chooses the former.

 

-

 

Sooyoung had woken up that morning in a cold sweat. Her fan circling overhead. She could still feel the ghost of the black ink from her dream the night before on her skin. Shivering, she moves to turn the fan off.

 

Her thoughts are preoccupied with the day before. A cold fury gathers in her chest. She couldn’t let Jungeun get away with this. She let her win before, only because she knew how happy Jungeun had made Jinsoul. Part of her had left that summer somewhat at peace, knowing the situation had resolved itself even if it wasn’t in her favor. But now, things were exponentially worse.

 

Jungeun had her, and she ended up hurting her. Just like Sooyoung knew she would.

 

Sooyoung’s fist connects with the wall. A dull pain permeates from her knuckles. She looked at her clock.

 

3:44 AM.

 

Her mother wasn’t home, she wouldn’t be for a few hours. She had time to think of a way to pay Jungeun back. Someone like Jungeun thinks she’s untouchable. No one can do anything to her because she’s pretty, rich, and friends with everyone else that’s pretty and rich. For those reasons alone, Sooyoung can’t stand her.

 

Not to mention the Jinsoul situation which still leaves a dull throb in Sooyoung’s heart.

 

Sooyoung gets up with a huff and paces around her sparsely furnished room. Knuckles only lightly burning at this point.

 

She couldn’t think of anything, maybe it would come to her during the school day. The issue is, when it does come to her she’s going to need a disguise. She can’t hate crime Jungeun in clear view of everyone, as much as she wants Jungeun to know it’s her she can’t risk suspension. She also wants to scare the shit out of her. Sooyoung grins evilly at the thought.

 

In a stroke of genius she remembers the owner of such a terrifying mask and her arm shoots to her phone to call the girl. Only on the second ring however does she remember the time.

 

As she moves to hang up a tiny voice rings through the phone.

 

“What the hell.”

 

“Yah I didn’t know you were capable of swearing.” Sooyoung teases through the phone. Her tone quickly turns apologetic. “Hey, sorry for calling so damn early, but I have to ask a favor of you…”

 

The phone is silent. Sooyoung holds her breath.

 

An audible sigh relays through the phone. “What do you need…”

 

Sooyoung arrived at school early that day, she roamed the hallways while waiting for her friends to get there. She stops in front of the leadership room, debating on whether or not to enter. The teacher for leadership, Mr. Young had been her history teacher freshman year. She always thought he was better off as a history teacher but no one else wanted the position.

 

She pushes the door open to see her old teacher typing away at the computer. “Morning Mr Young.”

 

“Ah Sooyoung, it’s been a while.” He stood up with a smile and moved to shake her hand. With his level of excitement Sooyoung guessed not many people went out of their way to visit him. “What brings you here?”

 

Sooyoung reciprocates the handshake. “Not sure, looking for answers maybe.” She looks over him and notices how thin his hair has gotten.

 

“Aren’t we all.” He grins. He moves back to his desk. “What do you think of your classes?”

 

Sooyoung walks around examining the room aimlessly. “They’re good, I think.” A box on the table catches her attention. “Looking forward to psychology.” She doesn’t pay any attention to what she is saying and instead looks closer at the box, running her fingers over the tape.

 

“That’s the ink.” He says, typing away at his computer.

 

“Ink.” An idea hits her.

 

Yeah. This’ll get her.

 

Sooyoung turns back to her teacher to see him grinning. “I’m so happy it came so soon, I was worried it would come late.”

 

“I’m glad it’s here too Mr. Young.” She holds back a laugh when she sees the confused look on his face.

 

A buzz alerts her to her phone. She sees a message from her classmate.

 

[Sharon]

I brought the stupid mask.

 

Sooyoung looks up at her teacher. “Hey I gotta go, it was nice catching up Sir.”

 

“Of course Sooyoung anytime.”

 

Sooyoung makes her way for the door.

 

“Take care of yourself.” He keeps typing away.

 

She doesn’t know why that statement makes her stop at the door. For a second she’s frozen when she takes it in. After a moment she pushes through.

 

-

 

It was an out of body experience. She had almost stopped herself from doing it. She had almost reached a moment of clarity. But ugly black clouds, thick and cruel, made sure she didn’t sway.

 

She had stood in front of her locker in the gym ridden with anxiety. The place was deserted, her class going on at that exact moment.

 

She wondered if it would be worth it, but when she remembered the ugly tears that weighed Jinsoul down she decided it was.

 

When she put on the mask she was no longer afraid, one foot in front of the other a swift motion carried her. Like her soul lifted off into the atmosphere and her body carried on the deed on its own.

 

So she watched from afar as she did it. Floating. She saw Jungeun’s face and for a second she wondered again if what she did was worth it.

 

Eventually, Sooyoung was brought down back to Earth in a collision.

 

Her legs had carried her fast out of that room, streaking across the hallway like a black shadow.

She knew they would follow her, so she did her best clearing the staircase and running off in the opposite direction of the bottom floor. She only needed to round the corner and she’d be out of the building.

 

She had made a deal with some kid that owed her, that at any moment he would pull the fire alarm to take some heat off of her. Her heart pounded against her chest painfully.

 

Just a few more steps Sooyoung.

 

Until.

 

She rounds the corner and slams into a body. Basically running over the poor girl, she also manages to lose her footing. Her mask slides off her face and skids a couple of feet away from her. Both her and the girl end up groaning onto the floor inches apart. 

 

“Jesus.” Sooyoung sits up and turns towards the girl besides her. Her eyes widening when she sees who it is.

 

The girl dusts off her jeans, only pausing once her eyes caught Sooyoung’s.

 

Great. Just her luck. She managed to body slam Junguen’s best friend: Kim Jiwoo.

 

They stare at each other for three seconds of pure silence. Sooyoung, still as a deer, while her mind connects the dots. Jiwoo had seen her running, most likely had seen the mask, and would hear about the incident from Jungeun herself. She was screwed.

 

Fear suddenly entered her body as the fire alarm went off.

 

Jiwoo squeaks in surprise and quickly covers her mouth.

 

Sooyoung scrambles to her feet and towards her mask, hiding it underneath her shirt. Pointlessly so, she knew Jiwoo had already seen it. She didn’t spare a glance to the girl.“Sorry. I gotta go.” She pushed past the door.

 

She discards the hoodie and the mask in a bush behind the building and begins walking towards the football team to line up with the rest of her school. They’re probably still herding freshman there so Sooyoung doesn’t look that late.

 

She joins her class deep in thought. Admin would find her disguise in maybe a week, and would probably guess it was someone in PE that had done it. Since the cameras had probably caught her walking inside the building.

 

Good thing she had the perfect alibi: dance class. She was the best dancer on the team. Seulgi couldn’t afford to kick her off, and would have no problem lying. Her only threat was that girl she just rammed into. In the collision, her mask had fallen off, and even though she had her back to the camera, they definitely knew a girl had done it. And Jiwoo, she knew exactly which girl.

 

The sight of a girl covered in blue ink pulls her away from her thoughts. Across the field, Jungeun marched with a crowd surrounding her. A black jacket wrapped around her shoulders, she met Sooyoung’s eyes across the field.

 

Sooyoung doesn’t immediately turn away, what does prompt her to is the appearance of Kim Jiwoo at Jungeun’s side. Who looked absolutely horrified at the state of her friend.

 

Jiwoo and Sooyoung meet eyes across the field.

 

Sooyoung’s heart skips a beat, and she turns away.

 

-

 

Sooyoung had spent the entirety of sixth period on edge, waiting. She wondered if Jiwoo had told anybody, if one of the camera’s had caught her face while she fell, if that dumb freshman that pulled the fire alarm had told on her. She spent the entire time watching the door. At one point her partner, who she vaguely knew, even had asked her if she was okay.

 

Her teacher was energetic, bouncing around the room like a jackrabbit about the history of psychology. If only she could match his enthusiasm.

 

Finally, when the last bell rung she breathed a sigh of relief.

 

With a few languid steps she made her way to the door. For a few seconds, her heart rate slowed and she calmed down. .

 

Her eyes caught the movement of an angry looking Kim Hyunjin marching towards her, with the rest of their friend group in tow.

 

“Jesus, so you all travel as a pack now?”

 

Hyunjin stopped in front of her, mouth pressed into a hard line. “I told you to not do anything stupid, stupid.”

 

Sooyoung raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Simultaneously, it seemed like everyone rolled their eyes at Sooyoung. She looked in confusion at everyone’s faces, who all wore the exact same ‘I’m disappointed in you’ look.

 

It was silent for a few seconds before Chaewon burst out laughing and the tension broke.

 

Vivi walked over to Sooyoung and slung an arm around her shoulders. “That was one hell of a stunt.”

 

Hyunjin suddenly scoffed, “She could’ve done better.”

 

“Right….” Yeojin agreed. She sent a critical glance at Sooyoung. “I was expecting too much from Unnie.”

 

Sooyoung gasped. “I’ll have you know it was very short notice, and Hyunjin, weren’t you mad at me or something??”

 

“Yeah Hyunjin.” Yerim said to the girl through clenched teeth. “Aren’t you supposed to be mad?”

 

“Oh right.”

 

Hyunjin puffed out her cheeks and brought her eyebrows down in a scowl.

 

Sooyoung and Hyunjin both burst into laughter, a few others cracked a grin at the scene.

 

Yerim whined, slightly pushing Hyunjin. “Stop we were supposed to be yelling at her.”

 

“I’m not an actress Yerim.”

 

“Besides,” Vivi said with a playful smirk. “What are we yelling at her for? She’s a warrior. Without shit like this this place gets dull.”

 

“It was a hell of a thing I heard. My whole class was talking about it.” Chaewon added.

 

The group murmured among themselves.

 

Sooyoung turned to Jinsoul, who had been quietly watching her. “Tell me in advance next time I have to hate crime someone.”

 

Jinsoul raised her eyebrows and grabbed Sooyoung’s hand, pulling her away from the group. Sooyoung looked at the others for help but Vivi gave her a thumbs up and Chaewon brought her hands up in a prayer.

 

“May Jinsoul have mercy on Sooyoung’s soul.” Chaewon said. A chorus of ‘amens’ rang out after.

 

Sooyoung wanted to yell out behind her, but Jinsoul came to an abrupt stop.

 

Jinsoul spun on her heels to face her, wearing an indiscernible expression. Sooyoung’s pulse accelerated and she cursed her weak heart.

 

“Why did you do it?”

 

Sooyoung’s heart thumped loudly in her chest.

 

“You know why.” The words spilled out of her mouth.

 

Jinsoul’s expression softened as a sad smile slowly came to her face. “You told me it wasn’t lik—

 

“I don’t let anyone hurt my friends.” Sooyoung interrupted, slightly too loud, but she couldn’t let Jinsoul get the wrong idea. “I would’ve done the same for any of the other girls. I even egged Heejin’s house last year when she made Hyunjin cry.”

 

“Sooyoung that was a crime by the way, Heejin didn’t even do it on purpose.”

 

“Exactly. I’m insane.” Sooyoung brought her index finger to point at her head for emphasis.

 

Jinsoul looked unconvinced. “You’re impulsive. That’s what you are. But I know the Jungeun situation is different.”

 

“Don’t worry about that, I’m over it.” She lied. “I’m telling you. It’s not different at all.”

 

Jinsoul raised an eyebrow and a pinky finger. “Promise?”

 

Sooyoung’s heart cried out in protest but she willed the feeling away. She brought her finger up to meet Jinsoul’s. “Promise.”

 

“Oh. One more thing.. Please don’t do anything else to Jungeun.”

 

Sooyoung widened her eyes, the angry burn returning to her chest. “Why not Jinsoul? She did hurt you right?”

 

Jinsoul looked down at the ground, the sad smile returned to her face. “I don’t want you to hurt her.” She looked up and softly shrugged. “Please?”

 

Sooyoung stared at the girl, wondering how a human being could be that pretty. After a moment, Sooyoung relented. “Okay.”

 

However, she didn’t like the sad look on the blonde girl’s face. She brought her hand up to rest on the girl’s shoulder and sent her a mischievous smile. “But try and tell me the look on Jungeun’s face wasn’t priceless.”

 

Jinsoul swatted at Sooyoung’s hand, smile growing amused. “Don’t be mean.”

 

They walked over to the rest of the group who made comfortable conversation with each other. Yerim met Jinsoul with a hug and Hyunjin made her way to Sooyoung.

 

Hyunjin quirked an eyebrow at her. “Everything good?”

 

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

 

-

 

The sun still shone brightly in the sky as they bid their friends farewell. Last year, to both their surprise, Hyunjin and Sooyoung lived only around a block away from each other, often making a point of walking home together. With only a year of friendship under their belt, Sooyoung was happy with their progress. 

 

They walked in comfortable silence before Sooyoung piped up suddenly.

 

“You know, I thought you were going soft on me for a second.”

 

Hyunjin pursed her lips. “What do you mean?”

 

Sooyoung watched as the cars passed them on the road. She counted three red cars before answering. “This whole Jinsoul thing. You’ve been hovering a little bit.”

 

“Oh. I’m just trying to be a good friend.”

 

Sooyoung stayed silent, beckoning for Hyunjin to continue.

 

“When one of us is being a little crazy, the other should ground them. One is weak, one needs to be strong. One’s scared the other is brave. That’s a good friend. And I knew this whole thing would be sensitive for you.. .”

 

Sooyoung opened her mouth but one look from Hyunjin sealed her lips shut.

 

“So I tried my best to keep you in check, and I’m not good at it at all apparently. But I still tried to be your rock. Like you are to me. You’re a good rock.”

 

“I’m… a good rock…” Sooyoung repeated. She knew if she teased Hyunjin her ears would burn red.

 

“I-I mean.”

 

Sooyoung laughed and Hyunjin gave her a dirty look that eventually cracked into a smile.

 

“It’s just, you stopped me from doing so much crazy shit last year Sooyoung. How do you do it?”

 

Sooyoung hummed to herself, kicking a rock into the road as they walked. “I’m not sure. I guess you’re just more openly unstable.”

 

Hyunjin huffs at Sooyoung’s joke.

 

“I know exactly when you’re about to blow up.” She turns to look at Hyunjin. “And good thing, ‘cause that temper of yours is nasty.” Sooyoung flicks Hyunjin’s forehead before running ahead.

 

Hyunjin shrieks and chases after her. Sooyoung doesn’t run very far as she stops at the crossroads where they usually part. She turns to Hyunjin, offering up her face for a flicking.

 

“Is this a trap?”

 

“I am merely accepting my fate.”

 

Hyunjin brings her hand up to flick, but after hesitating she brings it down. “That would be too easy. I’ll let you live this time.”

 

Sooyoung hides her triumphant smile.

 

“Oh and you know I would’ve helped you do it right? I don’t want you to make bad decisions but when you do I want to be there.”

 

“Of course.”

 

When they parted, Sooyoung felt a wave of exhaustion hit her. Her early morning and midday antics left her feeling heavy. The positive was, as crazy as her plan had been it worked.

 

She got back at Jungeun, for everything. Morally, it wasn’t that bad, how hurt could someone be over ink? Besides, she got little personal gain out of it. Only the satisfaction of pouring ink on a love rival, but even then, she was never going to date Jinsoul. Instead she got Jungeun to feel the embarrassment she knew Jinsoul had felt as she walked around the halls with tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

Sooyoung decided that what she did was a good thing. She smiled to herself as she reached her door, and even wider while she pulled her door open, and chuckled as she hit her bed.

 

-

 

“...And it had a few wispy hairs stuck to its forehead. Pretty sparse.”

 

“I see. Hm. Did it have a butt chin?”

 

“A butt chin?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Jungeun looked up at her ceiling before closing her eyes. She willed back the memory, the terrible memory of the ugly mask that hadn’t left her mind. She focused on the chin, the image was fuzzy.

 

She opened her eyes and looked down at Heejin, intently staring back at her. “Uh. I think so, yes.”

 

Heejin immediately returned to her sketchbook, furiously scribbling in the detail. They had been at this for twenty minutes and from her view, Jungeun could see the mask coming to life on the page. A chill ran up her spine.

 

“You almost done Heekie?” Haseul called out from behind them. She sat at Jungeun’s desk, doing homework. She knew how Heejin was.

 

Heejin only mumbled in return. Her pencil stops, and immediately a smile breaks out on her face. “I got it!”

 

“Huh?” Jungeun looks at the paper, and the mask stares back at her. Jungeun could almost see the exact pair of eyes that had been behind the mask that day. “Holy shit. That’s it.”

 

Heejin stands up excitedly. “I know this mask! I got it guys!”

 

Haseul spins around in her chair and throws her hands into the air. “Hallelujah!” She runs to the door and swings it open, yelling out into Jungeun’s house. “Jiwoo! she finished!”

 

Jungeun grabs the sketchbook and stares at the mask. She expects the sounds of frantic running, but instead careful steps approach the door. She looks up at Jiwoo, who appears with a strange look on her face. Jiwoo sees the drawing and her eyes widen in shock.

 

Jungeun smiles at her friend. “Scary right?”

 

Jiwoo meets her eyes, but when she smiles back at her it’s eerily superficial. “Yeah, really scary.”

 

Jungeun only gives her a confused look but Jiwoo turns away as Heejin begins to talk.

 

“It’s a Hannya mask.”

 

Jungeun frowns. She looks around to find her friends equally as confused. “Yah Heejin! Explain damn it!”

 

“Oh yeah sorry. So It’s a Japanese mask, the Hannya mask is used in many noh and kyōgen Japanese plays, as well as in Shinto ritual kagura dances. The Hannya mask portrays the souls of women who have become demons due to obsession or jealou—”

 

Haseul brings a hand up to stop her friend.“Okay thank you Heejin very cool.” She turns to Jungeun. “So what are we supposed to do with this information?”

 

“Other than cringing at the fact that Heejin is a really big Weab. I don’t know.”

 

Jiwoo gives her a reassuring smile. Heejin meanwhile looks at them all with a bewildered expression.

 

“Hello??? There aren’t many Japanese people at our school. That definitely narrows it down. To literally four people.”

 

Haseul gasps bringing a hand up to her mouth. “Heejin I know you aren’t talking about Sana and her friends. They’re like a thousand times more popular than Jungeun, why would they do anything to her?” She brings a hand to rub Jungeun’s shoulder. “No offense Jungeun.”

 

“Eh it’s true.”

 

“And Yuta is nice,” Jiwoo says. “He wouldn’t do it either.”

 

“Okay but,” Heejin grabs the drawing and holds it up. “This isn’t the kind of crap you find at party city. Maybe they feel threatened by Jungeun’s good looks and rising popularity. And didn’t Mina recently come back from Japan?”

 

“I’m going to stop you right there.” Haseul brought her hand to a rest on Jungeun’s shoulder. “Jungeun I love you. I would fight a hundred wars for you, but I’ve seen Mina’s girlfriend when she’s mad and she is the scariest person I’ve ever met. So I will be sitting this one out.”

 

Jungeun nods in understanding.

 

“I’ll fight for you Jungeun.” Heejin announces.

 

Jungeun scoffs and brings a hand up to mess up her friend’s hair. “Okay noodle.” 

 

Heejin slapped away her hands. “Hey I’m serious! We need to find out who did this.”

 

Jiwoo sat besides Jungeun on the carpet and put her hand on her knee. “Do you remember anything else about that person?”

 

Normally Jiwoo would calm Jungeun, but today she couldn’t quite place the off feeling she had when she held Jiwoo’s gaze.

 

“Just their eyes.”

 

Heejin scrambled to grab her pencil and sketchbook. “What about their eyes?!”

 

“They were brown.”

 

“Oh my god they were brown.” Haseul mumbles to herself, once again doing her homework at the desk. “That narrows it down.”

 

Heejin sets her sketchbook down. “You know who else has brown eyes? Mina Myoui.”

 

“It wasn’t Mina.” Jiwoo suddenly said.

 

Jungeun whipped her head towards the girl. “How do you know?”

 

Jiwoo didn’t meet her eyes. “Just a feeling,” her tone was cheerful but her eyes were downcast. She was chewing her lip too, which absolutely tipped off Jungeun that something was wrong.

 

She’d have to get down to the bottom of it later.

 

Heejin gasped. “I got it! What if it has something to do with Ji—”

 

“No.”

 

Everyone in the room visibly stiffened, but Jungeun didn’t care. She knew Jinsoul, she wouldn’t do it. And she knew her eyes, and Jinsoul’s hadn’t been the ones she had seen.

 

“What about one of her friends,” Haseul asked. She rose from the desk and sat besides Jungeun on the floor.

 

Everyone surrounded her with equal expressions of concern and it made Jungeun nauseous. She groaned and covered her eyes. A warm hand rubbed her back.

 

“Her friends are pretty crazy. Maybe Hyunjin?”

 

“No!”

 

Everyone threw an amused glance at Heejin, whose face now shone a brilliant vermillion.

 

“Jesus. Not your boyfriend Heekie. ‘Girl Hyunjin’, the one always hanging around with Sooyoung.” Haseul rolled her eyes.

 

Heejin’s mouth turned downward in a frown. “I know who you’re talking about and my answer stays the same.”

 

The two girls seemed to enter a staring contest and Jungeun could only grow more confused at what was happening.

 

Jiwoo laughed awkwardly, obviously trying to diffuse the tension.

 

Heejin looked down. “If she had done it she wouldn’t have worn a mask.” A ghost of a smile came to her face, quickly however it vanished. Jungeun would have to ask about that later too.

 

“You know,” Haseul added. “After thinking about it, it sounds like S—”

 

“Wait!” It was Jiwoo’s turn to interrupt.

 

She scrambled to her feet and stood in front of them all. Jungeun braced herself for a speech.

 

“It doesn’t matter. This is all dumb. Pointing fingers isn’t getting us anywhere because either we blame someone innocent or we get it right and they deny it. I think we should just get on the defensive, protect Jungeun. If they want to show their face then they will and if they don’t then it doesn’t matter.” Jiwoo finished with a heavy breath.

 

Jungeun stared at the girl with amazement, wondering what had prompted her to react so strongly. Her thoughts were interrupted by the girl besides her.

 

“You know. Jiwoo actually made a lot of sense just now.”

 

“Boo!” Heejin jeered in an exaggeratedly deep voice. “We want blood!”

 

Jungeun sighed and rested her back on the ground. She felt a headache coming on and groaned. “Jiwoo’s right. Let’s just forget about this.”

 

She thought of Jinsoul, and her eyes fluttered shut.


	2. 15 Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of things

Sooyoung was running. 

 

She was chasing something. She couldn’t see it well. She couldn’t see anything. 

 

Her vision was a white fuzz, like a static television screen. She clenched her hands for some comforting sensation, but all she felt was an aching cold in her fingertips. She couldn’t stop running. There was a smell in the white room, a sickly one. The farther she ran, the more white the room became, the more static covered her vision.

 

The smell turned to alcohol. A voice was calling her. She heard him, but she didn’t want to listen. He wanted her to stay, but she couldn't. She had to go. She had kept running. Her legs told her that. Her breathing told her the same. The sweat dripping down her forehead implored her to keep running. 

 

But she couldn’t move fast enough. The voice was coming closer. It was asking her to stay. She couldn’t move her legs fast enough. She couldn’t. She couldn’t. She couldn’t.

 

A metallic crash sounded through the wall from outside. 

 

She woke up gasping, with her blanket on the floor. Her room was pitch black. The fan was on, blasting on its highest setting. All she could hear was ringing in her ears and the sound of her strained breathing. She brought a hand to her forehead and only felt cold sticky sweat.

 

She looked around her room, struggling to focus her vision. She couldn’t see anything, barely even the hand in front of her face. Strange blotches of black danced around her room. Her mouth tasted like metal, chunk of flesh was missing from the inside of her cheek. 

 

She closed her eyes and counted, counting till the ringing in her ears subsided and the sickly feeling left her. When she opened, she remembered the sound that woke her. She needed to look.

 

With a shaky hand she moved to open her blinds. With swift one movement she pulled them up. What she met was a wall of pitch black nothingness. It looked as though a thick black ink covered the entirety of the window from the outside. With not a hint of light coming in, the darkness in the room seemed to multiply.

 

Every hair on her neck stood up.

 

Stupidly, she laughed. It was the only thing she could think to do, her mind completely shut off. A strange lightheaded feeling accompanied her laughter and she forced herself to leave the room. She stumbled into the hallway, pressing her face onto the wall. She focused on the coldness while she regained her balance. God, she wanted to call Hyunjin. 

 

Once the giggly feeling left her, she felt scared. Scared turned to stupid, when she realized how she probably looked. She stuck her face from the wall, feeling the hard imprint left on her cheek. God, she probably looked ridiculous right now.

 

Looking around she felt better. The hallway held significantly more light than her room, with moonlight spilling through from another window. Said window looked pretty normal, clear. Sooyoung felt the strange feeling leave her. 

 

Praying under her breath, she turned back to look into her own room. Her window was normal again. She wondered if she was going insane. 

 

She exhaled shakily, at least reality began to make sense again. However, she knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, she needed to check outside.

 

With one last look into her room she shut the door. 

 

Her legs took her through her small house.  Times like these she’s glad for its size, a bigger home has too much empty space, too many rooms and corners for shadows to lurk. It's not that Sooyoung was afraid of the general idea of the dark. It was the darkness in houses that gave her the chills.

 

Sooyoung pulled open the front door to the outside. When she stepped out a wave of relief hit her. The air was cool, much fresher than her house had been. She took a second to just breathe in and out, and to feel the coolness of the ground on the soles of her feet. 

 

The darkness of the outside world is much more welcoming. 

 

Her strength had returned to her. With purposeful steps she marched to the garbage can that she had heard fall. And fall it had, she found it toppled over with its contents spilled out onto the concrete. She moved towards it, only to see a small indication of movement within. 

 

She froze. Slowly the trash can moved slightly, and the sounds of eating flowed out from within. 

 

“Hah?” 

 

The trash can stilled.  Slowly, a small brown curly haired dog crawled out of it. It’s long ears flopping side to side as it approached Sooyoung. The dog stopped, and they stared dumbly at each other. 

 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!” 

 

The dog immediately scrambled away as Sooyoung threatened to kick it. She chased after it but its small body pushed through a small hole in her fence to freedom, leaving a livid Sooyoung breathing heavily in the yard. 

 

She couldn’t believe that fucking dog. This wasn’t the first time he had gotten into her yard, but it was the first time during the night. She wanted to scream in frustration, but it definitely wasn’t even close to morning, and her neighbors were pretty insane. She didn’t need a problem with any of them again. 

 

Sooyoung went to sit on the front step of her house, as she still felt the night was more welcoming than her home. On the steps, she clutched her head in her hands. Another night she hadn’t managed to sleep through fully. It had been happening a lot lately, and frankly, it was taking a toll. 

 

Even with the leftover adrenaline still pumping through her body, she craved the warmth of her sheets. Still, her body felt no drive to make its way back to her room. She needed more peace, and the calm serenity of the front yard was the best place for her to be right now.

 

She looked around her neighborhood as her heart settled into a steady rhythm. If someone tried to murder her right now she could always run to Hyunjin’s house, or even Yerim’s. If she witnessed a robbery or some other crime, well she did have a pellet gun and she’s not too bad of a shot. Who’s to say Sooyoung isn’t a hero. She likes to think she’s pretty brave. Sooyoung smiles to herself, satisfied that she would be able to handle any problem right now. 

 

A small car passes by the empty streets illuminating the houses as it drives by. In those couple of seconds of illumination Sooyoung sees a figure in the yard of a neighboring home. It looked like a girl, with long black hair, staring back at her. 

 

Any semblance of bravery immediately escaped Sooyoung’s body as she marched straight back into her house, bolting to call Hyunjin.

 

-

  
  
  


Sooyoung woke up that morning with a crick in her neck and sunlight hitting her face.

 

She laid stiffly on the carpet of her living room. Her arms were sprawled out in different directions, baseball bat in one hand and phone in the other. She sat up with a groan. Discarding the bat on the floor, she checked her phone only to find it was dead. Great. The night’s events almost seemed like a nightmare, but she had a vague recollection of calling Hyunjin and speaking to her until, well, she’s guessing she passed out. 

 

She doesn’t even remember getting the bat. 

 

Stretching as she did so, she got up to get ready for the day. Sounds of water running meant her mother was home, and Sooyoung was ready to recall the crazy story of the night’s events in detail. 

 

-

 

“Maybe you should get a dog.”

 

“You think so Yerim?” Sooyoung looked up from her cards. “Those seem like a lot of work.” She looked down at her hand, a queen and a ten, not bad. 

 

“It’s better than getting murdered by a creepy neighbor. And it might scare away that dog that keeps annoying you.”.

 

Chaewon raised the bet to 6 pretzel sticks. After making her play she looks up at Sooyoung with a glint in her eye. “You never had a dog Sooyoung?”  

 

Sooyoung scoffed. “I had one. It was more of a rat than anything else, and it was only for a few months. Till my Dad took him. Bastard.” Sooyoung grumbled as she added her sticks to the pile. “Hey Chae, I barely got any sticks left!” 

 

“Get better at poker.” 

 

Sooyoung stuck her tongue out at her, Chaewon only waved it off. 

 

Suddenly the teacher announced almost robotically, without even turning to look at them. “Please, no gambling in my classroom.” 

 

Yerim looked panickedly at Chaewon and Sooyoung, which made her want to laugh.

 

“Yes Sir.” Sooyoung responded, mimicking his monotone speech and bringing a hand up to salute him.

 

He sent her a disapproving glance, eyebrows raised and everything. 

 

Sooyoung only smiled back sheepishly. He was a pretty cool teacher all things considered. He was about sixty but he looked over a hundred, with a round pot belly and wrinkles that parted his face. Sooyoung liked him because he was blunt, and he let them hang out in his classroom. She had him 3rd period too, but he definitely still hasn’t made the connection. Sooyoung was pretty sure he still didn’t know her name.

 

She turned back to Chaewon and sat patiently. Both of them were waiting for Yerim, who was not only playing, but also the dealer. Currently however, she was more focused on organizing her fifty gel pens than this life or death game of Texas Hold Em’.

 

“Ahem. Yerim.” 

 

“Oh! Sorry.” Yerim carefully placed her six pretzel sticks on the table and dealt the community cards. “How’s it look guys?” She smiled. 

 

Sooyoung looked at her cards, and then at the ones on the table. None of the cards were of any use to her, and the glint in Chaewon’s eyes seemed to shine brighter. Sooyoung was definitely going to lose all her pretzel sticks. 

 

“Terrible.”

 

The smile on Yerim’s face disappeared when she too looked at her cards.“I’m folding.” She threw her cards on the desk of the physics class.

 

“Wimp.” Chaewon said under her breath as she raised the bet to 10 pretzel sticks. 

 

Sooyoung swears that Chaewon somehow rigs it every time. It doesn’t make sense that five games in a row she has the upperhand. “Yerim! Don’t leave me alone with her!” 

 

Yerim went back to counting her gel pens, sending Sooyoung an apologetic glance. “I can’t lose all my pretzels. Especially since I’m your pretzel supply, you know for when you bust out.” 

 

“I am not busting out!” Sooyoung sent an accusatory glance to Chaewon. “And I’m gonna get all my pretzels back.”

 

“Technically they’re all Yerim’s pretzels.” Chaewon’s smile grew wider and more sinister. “She just let us have them so I could humiliate you till school starts.”

 

Sooyoung gasped. Kids become sophomores and suddenly forget how to act. She stood to speak but Yerim interrupted her. 

 

“I let you guys have them because neither of you brought lunch! You guys just have to turn everything into a competition!” 

 

“And whose fault is that?!” Chaewon accused.

 

Yerim looked around in confusion, looking absolutely dumbfounded. It made Sooyoung want to laugh. “Literally yours??? And I’ve offered to pack an extra lunch for you Chae…”  

 

Chaewon started to blush as she tried to stammer out a response.

 

As the kids bickered, someone entered the classroom and caught Sooyoung’s eye. Instantly, she locks eyes with Kim Jiwoo, who at first glance looks surprised, but her expression quickly turns sour, with furrowed eyebrows she makes her way towards Sooyoung.

 

“Shit.”  She whispers under her breath. She quickly gathers her things and rises from her chair. The girls stare at her in confusion as she rushes out her words. “Gotta go kids, make sure to get to class on time.” 

 

“Okay? Bye!” Yerim calls out as the door shuts.

 

Jiwoo was halfway across the classroom by the time Sooyoung slipped out.

 

Sooyoung lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She keeps walking through the hall, not knowing where she’s going. Something just told her she was going to get chewed out, and her day has already been stressful. It’s not that Kim Jiwoo was intimidating. That was impossible. Sooyoung just needed a breather. 

 

Right?

 

Sooyoung’s legs took her out of the building. Through the same exit which she had escaped through after crashing into Jiwoo on that strange day. She wondered if the school had found the mask yet. The mask looked pretty expensive, authentic japanese stuff, Mina would probably miss it. She should probably check.

 

As for Jiwoo, Sooyoung still wasn’t sure what the girl wanted from her. Maybe she was going to threaten her, tell her she snitched and Jungeun is currently plotting her revenge, or just kick her in the shins. She didn’t know Jiwoo very well, and she was probably capable of any one of those.  

 

Sooyoung walked slowly, but with a purpose. As she rounded the corner to behind the building she began to quicken her pace. Only a few minutes before class started. She started to look around the bushes, and with a cheer she finds the bush she left them in. Her blood runs cold however, when she sees the hoodie is neatly folded and the mask carefully placed atop it.

  
  


-

  
  


Sooyoung was tired. The kind of tired that you felt like a dull pain behind your eyes. The kind of tired that made your head feel like it weighed a thousand pounds. Sooyoung’s head felt too heavy for her neck, and so she laid it against the cold plastic of the desk. She heard the murmur of her friend’s conversations but in the pitch black of her vision she paid attention to the dull air conditioning instead. 

 

Sooyoung was hungry too. God she was hungry. She didn’t get lunch because she didn’t get up fast enough when the bell rang, and her heavy legs didn’t carry her fast enough to make up for it. And by the time she got anywhere near the cafeteria the line was spilling down into the quad. 

 

She groaned and shut her eyes tighter. Behind closed eyes her thoughts were a whirlwind. Never settling down on one thing in particular, instead fluttering from Jiwoo to Hyunjin to her stupid air conditioning that apparently broke sometime last night and she never realized it. Her Mom made sure she knew via six texts and a phone call.

 

A light tap on her shoulder brought her back to reality. Gingerly, she raised her head and opened her eyes. The bright light pricking them. As her eyes settled, she saw a napkin gently placed in front of her. On said napkin, laid some of Yerim’s kimbap, a quarter of Hyunjin’s sandwich, and a few pretzel sticks which she could only guess came from Chaewon. 

 

She turned her head to look at them, but each one was engrossed in conversation. The only eye she caught was Yerim’s, who sent her a mysterious smile. Sooyoung grumbled to herself as she sank her teeth into the sandwich. Maybe the gesture had tugged a little at her heartstrings, and maybe the people she had surrounded herself with grew dearer to her every day. She wouldn’t tell them that though. Instead she just ate the delicious sandwich with a scowl, and quietly swore to pay every one of them back. In whatever way she could.

 

“Has anyone seen Jinsoul today?” 

 

Sooyoung looked up from her food at Vivi. She looked around but everyone else did too, not a hint of a clue of where Jinsoul was in sight. Sooyoung sank her teeth back into the sandwich and shrugged.

 

“Are you serious?” Vivi said flatly. “How do we lose an entire girl.” 

 

“She is not lost.” Chaewon announced, pushing her chair back to stand. “I texted her. She’s on her way.” 

 

“Literally what was the point of you standing?” Hyunjin brought her hands up in confusion and made Yeojin chuckle.

 

“Dramatics, Hyunjin. Dramatics.” 

 

“What?!”

 

The two began to bicker about god knows what and Sooyoung once again returned to her sandwich. As long as they didn’t swing at each other she could distract herself with the food. She had moved onto the kimbap, her stomach still demanding sustenance. 

 

She hummed contentedly listening to the chatter until the door opened and everyone grew silent. Noticing this she snapped her head towards the entrance, and for a second didn’t recognize the girl moving towards them. 

 

She strained her eyes until it dawned upon her. Her eyes widened and her heart rate picked up, she dropped the food she was holding. 

 

Yeojin had screamed first, and her scream had startled Yerim, who let out a pathetic yelp. Chaewon and Vivi both rushed to their feet to meet the girl and surround her with a chorus of praise. 

 

“You look so good!” 

 

“I missed this color on you!”

 

It was Hyunjin and Sooyoung who were left frozen, slack jawed and still, staring at the girl whose hair the day before had been a platinum blonde. Whose hair had returned to its natural shade of obsidian. 

 

Sooyoung turned her head to look at Hyunjin, but the girl had not ripped her gaze yet from Jinsoul. 

 

They were given no time to discuss the matter, as the bell had rung signalling a return to hell. Sooyoung gathered her things, still shocked into silence. The girls excitedly questioned Jinsoul on her decision, but her answers were brief. Jinsoul looked happy, but not happy enough to give a real answer. Sooyoung didn’t need to ask though, she knew exactly why. 

 

The girls split off in different directions, and this was her chance to speak with Jinsoul alone since their classes were in the same area. With the gymnasium being just across the history building. 

 

They walked in comfortable silence for a moment, and for a moment Sooyoung didn’t want to disturb the peace. However, it was Jinsoul that did.

 

Jinsoul sent her a playful glance and nudged her shoulder. “So what do you think?” 

 

The interaction was innocent but that didn’t make Sooyoung want to jump off a bridge any less. She thought for a moment, about how she truly felt. The cold resentment built up again in her throat. “I should’ve dumped that ink on her head so you didn’t have to be the one to break first.” 

 

Jinsoul chuckled, ignoring the anger she could feel permeate from Sooyoung. “I don’t think Jungeun would look good with blue hair. Besides,” she stayed silent for a moment. “I’m glad I was the one that broke it. Makes it official right?” 

 

“I guess.” Sooyoung gripped the strap of her backpack tighter. 

 

“What?” Jinsoul brought her face closer to Sooyoung’s and pouted. “Do you not like it?” 

 

Sooyoung’s fight or flight response went haywire and for a second she malfunctioned. “N-No. That’s not what I meant.” 

 

Jinsoul laughed, a real one. Even if she was laughing at her. Jinsoul laughing made Sooyoung happy. 

 

“I’m serious! It reminds me of-”  _ the girl I fell in love with,  _ “how you looked when we first met.”

 

“That was a happy time wasn’t it.” 

 

“Freshman year?” Sooyoung questioned. “Could’ve been better.” 

 

“I miss it sometimes.” There was a hint of something behind her voice that Sooyoung couldn’t quite place. She didn’t want to figure it out either. 

 

The more Sooyoung thought about freshman year, how she had felt and who she was before, the more she missed it too. Sooyoung dropped Jinsoul off at her class and made her way towards the dance room, with one last task left in the day.

 

-

  
  


The girls locker room was strange. It wasn’t as hectic as the boys locker room, and was significantly cleaner as well. The dance team never changed in silence. The girls always gossiping about someone’s friend’s ex-girlfriend’s cousin. The gentle murmur of voices and constant movement within the room always comforted Sooyoung. 

 

When she finished changing only a few girls remained in the locker room. She had a few minutes to get to class but her psychology teacher didn’t seem like much of a stickler for the rules. She grabbed her pack and moved deeper into the room, to the very last row of lockers. The most private changing spot, a likely place to find one of her favorite introverts. 

 

Myoui Mina stood facing her locker, phone in hand furiously texting away. Her hair fell forward to cover her face, and as a result, her peripheral vision. A smirk came to Sooyoung’s face as she slowly crept forward. 

 

She was only a few paces away when Mina cleared her throat. Mina looked up and smirked back at her. “Nice try.” 

 

Sooyoung huffed. “How’d you know?”

 

“I can sense evil.” She deadpanned. “And your steps were pretty loud.” 

 

Sooyoung stuck her tongue out at her and sat her backpack on the bench. “Speaking of evil, I have something of yours.” 

 

Mina raised her eyebrows. “I thought I told you to throw that away.” 

 

“Oh shit. Did you?” Now that she mentions it, Sooyoung does have a slight recollection of that exact command. “Ugh, but it’s so expensive and cool.” She brought the mask up to her face for emphasis. 

 

Mina stared at her for a beat too long and Sooyoung began to squirm under her scrutinizing gaze. “Keep swinging that around in the open and we’re both getting suspended.” 

 

Sooyoung quickly held the mask behind her back, as if that protected it from anyone’s view. “The school would never implicate you. Too rich and single handedly raising our average test scores.” Sooyoung pointed an accusatory finger at herself. “I, on the other hand, would be discarded within seconds.” 

 

Mina didn’t budge.

 

“After they suspend me, or more likely expel. I would find a job in a nearby burger joint and work day in and day out, never moving out of my house and likely ending up under a bridge by the time I’m 30.” 

 

“Bleak.” Mina’s face broke out into a smile. She took the mask and found it a snug spot in her bag. “God, you win. But I really don’t know what to do with this thing.” 

 

“How’d you even get it?”

 

“I got matching pairs with my brother but he lost his and I never used mine.” Mina shrugged. “I guess I could give it to Jeongyeon. She likes ugly scary things.” 

 

“Mina! That’s no way to talk about Nayeon.”

 

Mina slapped her shoulder but she couldn’t hide the mirth behind her eyes. She crossed her arms and leaned against the locker. “How do you do it?”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Whatever you want.”

 

“No idea. I just feel like I need to. And it’s fun, pulling off stuff like this.” Sooyoung picked up her bag, knowing she was definitely late to class.

 

Mina hummed to herself. She shut her locker and turned to catch Sooyoung’s gaze. She held it for a few moments. A kind of understanding passed between them, or at least on Sooyoung’s end, she felt Mina communicate a world of advice to her in those seconds of eye contact. 

 

Mina nodded at her, and the corners of her lips turned upwards in a small smile. The moment was interrupted by the sudden ringing of Mina’s phone.

 

“Ah, the missus?” Sooyoung said in amusement. 

 

“Yup.” Mina smiled as she picked up her phone. The gummy kind of smile she had when she was really happy that squished her eyes almost closed. 

 

The sight made Sooyoung happy too. “Tell her I said the student council needs to start tackling the real issues. Like the lunches. Those are horrid” 

 

Mina nodded at her, smiling. “Take care of yourself Sooyoung.” 

 

The phrase felt familiar to her, she couldn’t remember who had recently told her that, but the feeling put her ill at ease. She managed a tight smile at Mina before walking off with that thought in her head. 

 

She could hear Mina’s honeyed words speaking to her girlfriend on the phone. It made Sooyoung wonder how she had time to call Mina in class, but that was probably one of the perks of basically owning the school. 

 

Sooyoung suddenly felt a strange feeling in her chest. A feeling that reminded her she wanted a girlfriend to call during class too. She wanted to tightly pack up the feeling and send it away but it wouldn't budge. It burrowed itself painfully in her chest and cemented its position. 

 

_ God she wanted a girlfriend.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhh so i got swamped with ap tests and finals but i'm freeeee so back to writing. I had a lot of ideas and here are some of them, theres a lot left which is so crazy but i hope the story is at least coherent at this point?? i got a lot of stuff i'm not explaining yet so please keep reading ^-^
> 
> but i feel like the biggest mystery is, who is mina's girlfriend?


	3. Friday

 

The worst part of the “I want a girlfriend feeling”, is how it sticks to the soul, as once it’s felt it can’t be shaken off.

 

It nags, for a long time.

 

It nags Sooyoung while she walks home, she didn’t even have Hyunjin to distract her today.

 

It nags her while she eats dinner alone, since her mother had left early to work. 

 

It was especially nagging as she lay on her bed that evening, eyeing the empty space on her sister’s bed.

 

Her feet were hanging off the end of the bed, the bed that had been hers for longer than she could remember. It was the bed she had left her crib for, and had yet to leave for any other bed. However, her thoughts were not on the prehistoric age of her bed. But on the strange state of her feelings, on the loneliness that permeated her soul.

She didn’t expect something as mundane as Jinsoul changing her hair color to have such an effect on her, but she has always thought she was somewhat of an idiot. She just needed to get it in her head, drill it in, that it was time to move on. 

 

Jinsoul didn’t want her that way. They’re better off as friends. 

 

She hated when the weird feelings came back. She hadn’t felt it in a while. Not since before summer, before she left. Maybe it was because where she had gone had taken up too much of her thoughts. 

 

But she didn’t want to think of either of those things. Her house was empty, and she had very little homework. Nothing she couldn’t do ten minutes before class started. Her afternoon was completely free and her legs were all too restless.

 

She heard her neighbors arguing through the thin walls of her house. She made herself focus on the sound of the fan, she didn’t need to hear something that might implicate her in any way, because she never knew with her neighbors.

 

She pulled her phone out, barely used and at 80%. Probably a few generations behind but she didn’t need it for much.

 

Her friends had a group chat, which she for the most part neglected. It was too active to keep up with, and she only used it to ask for company.

 

[swimming]

_ Anyone doing anything? _

 

[HANZOMAIN]

_...I’m working _

 

[swimming]

_ Who hired you??? _

_ ur like 12. _

 

_ [ _ HANZOMAIN _ ] _

_ Im 15 so stfu _

_ And i’m self employed _

_ i already made 5 dollars.  _

 

[LiceFree]

_ employed. if only u could say the same sooyoung _

 

[swimming]

_ I’m too pretty to work. _

[Jingolas]

_ OMG 0_0 Yeojin!! where are you!  i’ll come get you!! _

 

[HANZOMAIN]

_ im doing a livestream -_- _

 

[swimming]

_ I thought nobody watched those. _

_ I mean.  _

_ Who paid you??? _

 

[LiceFree]

_ actually i donated because i owed her money _

_ and who tf changed my name bitch i will kill u _

 

[HANZOMAIN]

_. _

 

[AEEEEOOOONGGGG]

_ I’m at cross country practice still :/ _

 

[swimming]

_ Welll I would've waited for you if you had let me. _

 

[AEEEEOOOONGGGG]

_ :( _

_ Can’t ask you to do that every day  _

 

[swimming]

_ :( _

_ Tomorrow then. _

 

[AEEEEOOOONGGGG]

_ Of course _

 

[LiceFree]

_ can yall like dm.. _

 

[ **swimming has kicked LiceFree from the Group Chat** ]

 

[swimming]

_ So… _

 

[Yerim :D]

_ I’m free ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ _

_ Just babysitting if you're okay with that Soo ~ _

 

[swimming]

_ omw _

 

Sooyoung looked up from her phone with a smile. She always liked Yerim’s house, it had a different feeling, and a lot more distractions in it.

 

She got up from her bed, feeling more energized than she had the whole day. Whenever they hung out Yerim just had a way of making her feel better, even if hanging out meant Sooyoung laying on her bed while Yerim decorated her journal. Maybe it was the way that Yerim knew how to fill the silence, always having something to talk about, and on some days, Sooyoung got to see a side of her rarely reserved for others. 

 

Sooyoung was careful to lock all the doors before she left. Even if the worst they could steal was a horribly outdated tv or a plain white microwave, she would prefer not getting robbed. 

 

Stepping out the front door she checks her phone one last time, seeing a text in the group chat. 

 

[Hag]

_ I’m gone for five minutes and you kick chaewon???? _

_ AND WHO THE HELL CHANGED MY NAME _

 

She chuckled to herself as she locked her screen. 

 

The sun shone hot, but slightly low in the sky. It was in the perfect spot to hit Sooyoung directly in the eyes as she walked down her driveway. The pavement was cracked and rubbed roughly against the soles of her shoes. 

 

Once she made it past her metal fence, the shade of a tree saved her vision. It was there she saw just about the biggest dog she had ever seen in her life.  The dog was huge, it had a sleek black coat and patches of brown on its back. The dog’s cold eyes stayed trained on Sooyoung, threatening her to come closer. The worst part, it sat in the shade of the same house she had seen the strange black haired girl last night. 

 

That house had a strange reputation, with every neighbor telling a different story about it. None of its tenants had lived in it for a long time, and whoever lived in it last somehow left it more trashed. She guessed the house found new owners in the evil looking dog and the black truck that sat in its driveway. 

 

She had enough of being creeped out in her own neighborhood and made her way down the street towards Yerim’s place. 

 

It always amazed her on her way to Yerim’s house, the difference a few blocks makes. The houses on Yerim’s street were always the prototype perfect houses to grow up in. They were a few rooms bigger than the ones on Sooyoung’s block, filled with people a little more sophisticated than Sooyoung’s neighbors.  

 

The only thing Sooyoung preferred about her neighborhood was the unique feeling every house brought. There was a lackluster kind of sameness about the houses Yerim lived by. On Sooyoung’s street the houses all had something, something off or different about them. 

 

The house of the black haired girl and the gigantic dog had a neon pink front door, and from what she heard, all the doors in the house were painted that way for absolutely no other reason than just for the hell of it. 

 

Sooyoung’s house had a strange metal fence, only around her front yard, as her backyard had the same decrepit wooden fences of everyone else. She had a chimney but no fireplace and gibberish carved into the stone path in her backyard.

 

Sooyoung’s left door neighbor had a pool, about four feet across both ways and four feet deep. Those neighbors, bless their hearts, had been left scratching their heads as to what to do with the pathetic little pool that was awkward to swim in, if one was able to do that. Sooyoung had stood in it once, it radiated evil energy the entire time and she left convinced of the pool’s connection to witchcraft. That was a neighborhood rumor she helped to spread.

 

It was these little things that made Sooyoung somewhat fond of her neighborhood, and gave her good stories to pass the time with. 

 

Sooyoung kicked little rocks as she walked. She felt the sun on her back and the moisture begin to gather under her shirt. She had shown up in worse states to Yerim’s house so she wasn’t all too embarrassed at the prospect of a hot and sweaty Sooyoung entering the pristine home.

 

Yerim always agreed to hanging out, so Sooyoung spent a lot more time at her house than most. During her time as Yerim’s friend Sooyoung has noticed that her parents were never home, and whenever she had asked Yerim about it she was met with similar answers:

 

“They’re on a business trip!”

 

“Date night!”

 

She had met them once. They were a relatively young attractive looking couple, and seemed quite doting. It always confused her, but family was never simple.

 

Sooyoung let out a sigh of relief when she arrived at the house. Yerim’s house was an unoffending two-story, with a sleek gabled roof and a hell of a lot of windows. She stared at the only thing of interest in Yerim’s front yard, a gigantic tree with limbs that stretch out towards the sky. It never had any leaves on it, and its bark was more a grey color than brown. 

 

She patted the tree as she walked past it, feeling the rough bark on the tips of her fingers. She rapped her knuckles against the black door. She heard the sound of a television being paused, a set of feet scramble to the door, and the sounds of a struggle. 

 

Sooyoung chuckled as the door slowly cracked open. A pair of eyes belonging to a rather small girl stared back at her. 

 

“What’s the secret password?” The child asked. 

 

“Uh…” Sooyoung scratched her head. She racked her brain trying to remember what the little girl had told her the last time she visited three months ago. “Cherries?” 

 

The door swung open to reveal the disgruntled little girl. Behind her, hid an even smaller girl whose face lit up at the sight of Sooyoung. She pushed past her sister to tightly hug Sooyoung’s lower body. 

 

Sooyoung messed up the little girls hair with a chuckle. “Did you miss me, Hyojin?” 

 

She nodded against her leg, showing no signs of pulling away yet. 

 

“I haven’t been away for that long.” Sooyoung looked back at the older one, who still stood frowning at her. Sooyoung sent her a puzzled glance. “Dohee?” 

 

Even if it was only a few months, Dohee definitely looked older. The changes Sooyoung noticed in the girls face only made her look more like Yerim. Their looks had always been the extent of their similarities. Since the girl’s birth Sooyoung had noticed something grave about Dohee’s expressions, always more serious than Yerim’s, with heavy brows that weighed down on her face. She finally unfurrowed her brows and moved to let Sooyoung in. 

 

“Where have you been?” 

 

Sooyoung unstuck the little one from her leg and entered the house. It was the same as she had last seen it, with grey neutral walls and sleek modern furniture. The walls were lined with art that Sooyoung never quite understood the appeal of. Sooyoung suddenly remembered she was asked a question when she saw Dohee’s heavy brows draw together once again. 

 

“Yerim didn’t tell you? I thought I told her to. I went south.” Sooyoung sat on the couch, with Hyojin taking a spot right at her side. She turned the TV back onto a vibrant cartoon full of talking animals and a mosaic of colors.

 

Hyojin looked up at her with a curious quirk of her brow. “Why?” 

 

Sooyound didn’t know why being questioned by a little girl made her nervous. “Family… Stuff.” 

 

Hyojin stared at her for a second before sending her a cheerful “Okay!” 

 

Dohee’s face relaxed and she sat down on the couch as well, not as close as Hyojin but not far either. “Okay.” She repeated. Her expression quickly soured at Sooyoung’s next choice of words.

 

She turned towards the girl.“Since when do  _ you  _ open the door? Didn’t I teach you about stranger danger?”

 

Dohee scowled, heavy brows coming down.“Since forever  _ Dummy _ , I’m a big girl now.” She crossed her arms and turned away.

 

“Yeah. She grew two inches.” Hyojin agreed excitedly, holding up three fingers.

 

“Exactly. I can see through the peephole now… when I step on a few things… but I can see through it.” 

 

“Oh wow.” Sooyoung nodded at the girls. “That’s very impressive.”

 

“You bet.” Dohee looked proud.

 

Sooyoung sat for a moment admiring the High Definition flatscreen that she could only dream of owning. Her mother didn’t like spending money on things like that, besides she wasn’t really into spending either. She liked movies more anyways. 

 

The cartoon’s plot was something a bit too abstract for Sooyoung, something about superpowers and strange eyes and girls that turned into animals. Something about the cartoon bat on the television reminded her of her friend. “Oh crap. Where’s Yerim?” 

 

Hyojin gasped, covering her mouth in surprise, looking pointedly at Dohee. Dohee only glared at Sooyoung and wordlessly stood up, walking away from the two of them. 

 

Sooyoung looked towards Hyojin for answers. 

 

She brought a finger up to her mouth and shushed Sooyoung. “She’s sleeping.” She whispered.

 

“Huh? We were talking normally before.” Sooyoung questioned.

 

“I forgot.” The little girl whispered once more, somehow even quieter.

 

Sooyoung brought her voice down to a whisper as well, though not as successfully quiet. “She’s sleeping?”

 

The little girl enthusiastically nodded. Hyojin grabbed her hand and pulled her off the couch and into the hallway towards Yerim’s room. The familiar picture frames blurred past her as they reached the door. The young girl pressed her ear against the door and motioned for Sooyoung to do the same. She pressed her ear against the door and sure enough heard the quiet snores of her friend. 

 

Sooyoung sighed and pulled back. “Jeez. She invites me over and then falls asleep before I get here. Has she been stretching herself thin?”

 

Hyojin stared at her blankly and shrugged.  Together they shuffled back into the living room, retaking their seats at the couch. As much as she wanted to hang out with Yerim, she didn’t want to interrupt the girl’s peaceful slumber. And her sisters were actually pretty good company. 

 

Sooyoung was startled from her thoughts by a glass jar taking over her entire vision. The glittery purple marker that adorned the jar spelled out clearly,  **SWEAR JAR** , in writing Sooyoung was all too familiar with. The swear jar was filled with marbles, jelly beans, pennies, and all sorts of miscellaneous clutter. It was strangely endearing. 

 

She looked up at Dohee, who stared sternly back at her. “I’m a guest you know? I have rights and this is extortion.” 

 

Hyojin repeated the word ‘extortion’ to herself a couple of times, trying to make sense of it. 

 

Dohee didn’t budge, arm still unmoving as it held the jar in front of her. “My house my rules. I was more lenient with you before, but when Yerim is sleeping I’m in charge.”

 

“Who decided that.” 

 

“Me.”

 

“That’s fair.” Sooyoung shrugged. “How much?”

 

“What do you have on you?”

 

Sooyoung dug around in the pockets of her jeans. She found some lint, a candy wrapper, and a shiny coin that from its size could only be a quarter. She pulled it out and held it between her two fingers. “Is this good enough?”

 

Dohee shrugged. “I guess.” She tried to act nonchalant, but Sooyoung noticed the girl’s excited eyes watch her drop the coin into the jar. Dohee left to return the jar.

 

Sooyoung laid back into the comfort of the couch and closed her eyes. This wasn’t how she expected to spend her evening. 

 

“Guess Yerim wasn’t lying when she said it was just babysitting.” She said aloud, but the girl next to her didn’t acknowledge the statement. Too engrossed in the dramas of the television screen. 

 

Sooyoung resigned herself to watching it too. Trying to make sense of it. At some point Dohee returned and they all sat on the couch together, watching the screen. The girls would explain to Sooyoung what was happening whenever she was confused and she found herself enjoying the programming by the end of the episode. The show was surprisingly complex for a kids show, and there was something about the swan character that she liked more than the others. Her reverie was interrupted by a small voice besides her. 

 

“Sooyoung. I’m hungry.” 

 

Two pairs of pleading eyes seemed to stare into her soul. With a resounding sigh she stood up and held out a hand to the little one besides her. 

 

“C’mon guys, let's go eat something.” 

 

\--

 

Yerim’s dreams were never really simple. For most of her life, she had dreamt solely in vibrancy. The figures in her dreams, fully fleshed out energetic characters, and the landscapes, a mosaic of colors and nature. For most of her life she had dreamed in purples, yellows, reds and blues. 

 

It was only recently that she had stopped dreaming at all. It was abrupt, and the first few instances she had not noticed the change. It was only one afternoon she had spent with Yeojin that had made her realize it. She remembers her surprise when Yeojin asked her to recount her most recent dream, for the girl had heard the plots of her previous dreams and always found them incredibly entertaining. Yerim however, struggled for a moment, racking her brain desperately trying to remember the last time she had dreamt. She remembered feeling cold when she couldn’t think of a dream, and she remembered the disappointed look on Yeojin’s face.

 

It was like she was there. And maybe she was, but only for a moment. Because suddenly she was aware of her body, and she was pulled from her last stage of sleep by a horrible feeling. 

 

She sat up. Her breathing was calm, much calmer than it should’ve been considering the sinking feeling weighing down on her. Had she been dreaming? Did a memory count? It was certainly something in the right direction, even if it wasn’t the original beauty of her old dreams. It was certainly something good. 

 

Yerim’s eyes traced the darkness of her room, she felt like she was forgetting something important. 

 

It was a crash from her living room and the sudden roar of familiar laughter that jogged her memory. 

 

“Crap!” 

 

Yerim rushed to her feet and flung her door open. She made it to her living room in a single breath. When she arrived she was met with a scene of absolute chaos. With her sisters forcefully and violently swinging pillows at a Sooyoung who halfheartedly swung them back. Even with her sisters going full force, it seemed to only amuse Sooyoung more, and frustrate Dohee. 

 

The girls all simultaneously noticed Yerim, and froze in their spots. 

 

Her sisters both turned and pointed to Sooyoung. “She started it!” 

 

Sooyoung threw her hands up in confusion. “All I did was ask if we could change the channel.”

 

Much to everyone’s confusion, Yerim breathed a sigh of relief. She sent a deliberate smile towards her sisters. She collapsed onto the couch, feeling rather light. “Thank you for entertaining our guest you guys.”

 

Her sisters both shared a confused look but then a special level of understanding dawned on them and they took their leave. They were good about things like that, not being nosy when she had friends over. 

 

“Bye girls!” Sooyoung cheerfully waved. 

 

Hyojin returned the cheerful wave but Dohee only turned back and stuck her tongue out at her. 

 

Yerim chuckled to herself, knowing Dohee liked Sooyoung more than she let on. Sooyoung took a seat beside her and looked at her strangely. 

 

“I know this probably wasn’t what you had in mind. But thank you for taking care of my sisters.” Usually something like this would weigh heavily on her, especially as of late, but right now Yerim felt more than alright. 

 

Sooyoung merely waved her hand at her. “Don’t worry. They’re good kids. And you did say it would just be babysitting.” 

 

She stared at her friend for a moment. However light she was feeling, her gut told her it wasn’t time for light conversation. “You’re really nice Sooyoung.” 

 

“Huh?” Sooyoung stilled for a moment, but she quickly returned to her joking demeanor. “Don’t go around telling people that. I have a reputation you know.”

 

Yerim knew would Sooyoung often hide behind jokes, but tonight she didn’t feel like joking. There was a strange feeling in the air. She hoped she wasn’t the only one that felt it. “No. I’m serious. You’re really nice.” 

 

Yerim knew that her serious moments always caught people off guard. All her life she had taken to the roll of happy pill, it wasn’t easy, but it made her an integral part of the groups she was in. And it made her all the more effective during moments like this. There were two Yerims, she had known both all her life. Both served different purposes, and the serious Yerim, she had decided,  was the most useful right now. 

 

Sooyoung sensed the shift, with her expression returning to neutral. They both sat back against the couch, shifting to more comfortable conditions. As Yerim lifted her external mask, she hoped Sooyoung would do the same. 

 

“You’re nice. But sometimes you do things that aren’t.” 

 

Sooyoung’s voice was steady. “Doesn’t everyone.” 

 

“You’re nice but I don’t know many people outside of our group of friends that think so.” 

 

Sooyoung stayed quiet for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “Not many people outside of our group of friends know me.” 

 

Yerim wanted to keep pushing. Only the sound of a fan, spinning somewhere in her house, could be heard. What no one knew, was that silence excited Yerim more than words. The moments in between thoughts, in which the mind races the fastest, these moments are her favorite. Moments where she can watch the gears turn in the heads of others. She doesn’t get many, so when she does she savors them. Sometimes too much. 

 

Sooyoung turns her head to look at her, almost as if to rush her to her words. 

 

Yerim purses her lips. “The thing is, they think they do. And they know you for the things that they hear you do. You know, nobody knows you were in the mask for sure. But too many people definitely think you did it.”

 

Sooyoung inhaled sharply. Yerim knew to keep pushing. 

 

“You’re nice. I know you did it for Jinsoul, so that makes what you did kind of alright. But you hurt another person instead, which makes it less.” 

 

“She literally cheated!” Sooyoung’s voice lacked control, emotion splashing through. 

 

Yerim stopped pushing. Instead she waited, and Sooyoung looked at her for confirmation.

 

“She cheated, right?” Sooyoung repeated.

 

Yerim didn’t have the answer. Even though she was supposed to. Yerim had been the closest to Jinsoul before the summer time. She had been the one that knew everything about everyone. Yerim was the one you spilled your secrets to. Yerim was the one that always supported you, even if you were in the wrong. Yerim was everyone’s best friend, but she was especially Jinsoul’s. She had been for a long time, and all the time Sooyoung had spent at her house, Yerim had spent double at Jinsoul’s. So it hurt all the more when suddenly she was nothing in that girl’s world last summer. No calls, or texts. The only indications that Jinsoul was still alive was through social media posts, that implied every second of her life was spent with Jungeun. It stung more than it should’ve. But Yerim was good at ignoring things. 

 

“I don’t know.” Yerim grinned. It was the happy Yerim grin she wore at school, and as soon as she did it, it felt wrong in the moment. 

 

“Well if you don’t know, then I sure as hell don’t. But that’s all the information I had to work with. She made her cry, that’s all I needed to know anyways.” The hard shell was returning to Sooyoung as well. 

 

Yerim needed to push again. “Is it still like that?”

 

“Like what?” She asked, but Yerim could see that Sooyoung knew by the way she looked away. “Oh.” Is all she said for a while, while the fan droned on. “It hasn’t been ‘like that’ for a long time.” 

 

Yerim wasn’t convinced. But before she could push, Sooyoung spoke again.

 

“I’d do it for any of you. And I know that for certain.” Sooyoung looked her in the eyes, and there was a heavy feeling behind them. “But when I do things for her, maybe I feel them a little more deeply.” She turned away again, bringing her arms around herself as if she were cold. “There. Is that what you wanted.” 

 

Yerim smiled, a small smile. Sometimes she felt like her smallest smiles were the most real. “Yes. Thank you.” 

 

They stayed like that on the couch for some time, Yerim didn’t know how long. She basked in the silence, in the way the couch embraced her, and the steady breathing of her friend besides her. She liked times like these. But after a few moments, she felt the need to speak again. 

 

“So how do you know Kim Jiwoo?” The questioned had flickered around her mind since she bore witness to that strange encounter that morning. 

 

Sooyoung once again froze. The freeze lasted only a split hair of a second, but it was enough for Yerim to notice.

 

Sooyoung brought a hand to rub her neck, eyes running along the walls of the room. “Oh I don’t know her too well. I see her around sometimes. I guess.” 

 

“Then why was she looking for you?” 

 

Sooyoung gave her a bewildered glance. “She was? What did she say?”

 

Sooyoung’s state of surprise was strange to Yerim, since the girl had deliberately escaped the moment Jiwoo had entered the class that morning. “She just told me she  really needed to talk to you. Usually she’s pretty cheerful, but there was something off. Like she was mad about something.”

 

Sooyoung took in Yerim’s words with deep creases forming in her forehead. 

 

Curiosity bubbled within her. “Sooyoung? This is your chance to be honest.”

 

Sooyoung groaned, and brought her arm over her eyes, even though the lights in the room were as dim as they could possibly be. “Jiwoo knows.”

 

Yerim stilled with excitement, wanting to say so much, but she knew silence would force Sooyoung to say more. 

 

Sooyoung brought another hand to cover her face. “I crashed into her while running away from the leadership room, almost knocked her out and everything. But she got a great look at me. And she 100% knows that I basically assaulted her best friend.” She brought her hand down and turned her head to look at Yerim. “So yeah. She probably wants to kill me or something.”

 

“Have you spoken to Jiwoo before?” Yerim raised a brow. It was a little strange for the Sooyoung that she knew, who was daft when it came to feelings but would jump headfirst into confrontation, to run away from such a nonthreatening girl. Although, the Sooyoung she knew did disappear on her for two months, so what did she know anyways.

 

“Well no…” 

 

“She’s not the killing type.” 

 

Sooyoung started playing with the strings of a throw pillow. “Well that’s comforting.” 

 

“She’s actually really nice.” Something in Yerim wanted Jiwoo and Sooyoung to talk. In her mind they were an interesting combination, one that she would be delighted to see. They just needed a push. 

 

Sooyoung perked up. “Nice like me?”

 

“Nicer.” It was time for Show Yerim, the sunshine and rainbows that she knew everyone needed her to be. “Everytime she smiles a puppy is born.” 

 

Sooyoung scoffs. “That has to be a stretch.”

 

“If you saw her smile, you’d know it isn’t even close to being a stretch.” Yerim sat up this time. If Sooyoung was willing to run away from that girl already, then she’s probably going to fall into a habit of doing that. Yerim already had one friend that ran away from her problems, she doesn’t need another. “You should talk to her. It seemed like she had something important to say.”

 

“She’s just going to light my ass up for messing up her little friend’s hair. Besides, if she’s such a good person, what is she doing defending someone like that.”

 

“I have a question for you Soo. If one of us did something like that, to someone else that you weren’t too close with. Would you stick by us?” 

 

Yerim watched as the question dawned on the girl. Sooyoung was silent for a moment, spending a good minute pondering before she scowled. “Fine. I get it.” 

 

Yerim was satisfied, and sent a pleasant smile Sooyoung’s way. “Then you should at least hear her out.”

 

“I will.” She responded. “Or at least I’ll hear what she has to say the next time she tries to corner me.”

 

“Well. That’s all I can ask for right.” Yerim let herself relax. She got about as much as she wanted out of Sooyoung, and she felt she had done enough mettling on this night already. She let her mind wander to all the things she had on her plate. She felt a pair of eyes watching her and after a beat of silence Sooyoung spoke.

 

“Got anything coming up Yerim? You look tired.”

 

Yerim appreciated her friend’s concern. Sooyoung always tried to look out for her. “I’m fine, just thinking about everything I have to do.” 

 

“Like what?” 

 

Ignoring the basic things like taking care of her sisters and keeping track of her parents, also ignoring whatever introspection she’s supposed to be doing. She’s got a lot going on at school. She’s president of the Video Game Club, despite having little interest in them. Having heard, at the end of her freshman year, that the Video Game Club was going to fade out of existence once the school year ended, due to all the important members being seniors and the ones left behind not enough to sustain the club. She had managed to convince all her friends to put down their names as participants and got herself elected president. Not only was she incentivized by how good it looked on her transcript, she enjoyed the leadership position.

 

At the end of the day, she liked when people relied on her. She liked power.

 

“The first Video Game Club meeting is tomorrow, and the only people who I know for sure are going are our friend group, which you are in charge of, and the student council, which aside from Jinsoul, are two other people.” 

 

“It sounds like a good showing. A small cozy club, what more can you ask for.” Sooyoung crossed her arms over her chest. She looked tired, with her eyes drooping slightly.

 

“Make sure that the girls go.” Yerim said. She turned her head to peer over her couch at the time. It was completely dark outside, but it was only 9:30. Sooyoung had walked here, and she probably shouldn’t walk back. “How about a sleepover!”

 

Sooyoung raised her eyebrows at the sudden energy. “I mean, as long as you lend me a toothbrush and we go get my stuff in the morning.”

 

“Of course!” Yerim stood up quickly, pulling Sooyoung with her. “It’s been way too long since our last sleepover.”

 

“Because last time Chaewon wiped out on your stairs and had to get crutches.”

 

Yerim remembered that day fondly, minus the injury and trip to the emergency room. 

 

They made their way towards her room to get ready for the night. Yerim had a lot more clothes than she needed, and some of which weren’t even hers. She gave Sooyoung one of the spare toothbrushes and threw the most ‘Sooyoung’ shirt at Sooyoung, one that she was almost sure belonged to her.

 

As the night drew to a close, and Sooyoung’s soft snores filled the room, Yerim found herself more awake than ever. And so she lay, and pondered, thinking of all the strings she could pull, in pursuit of a good state of being, for both her and her beloveds.

 

\---

 

The walk back to Sooyoung’s was a quiet affair. Casual conversation filled the silence, as they made their way down the desolate roads. Only a couple of cars populated the streets that early in the morning. A thin wispy fog filled the air, which confused Yerim. They never got fog that early in the year. 

 

Yerim waited outside on the steps of her house as she waited for Sooyoung. She caught the eyes of someone watching her from the window of the strangest house on the block. She couldn’t make out a face, only raven hair. She watched the girl that watched her and smiled. 

 

_ Fascinating _ , Yerim thought to herself.

 

\---

  
  


“So then we just walked back to mine in the morning, got my bag, and an actual change of clothes. And then we walked here.” Sooyoung explained to the group as they made their way to the history wing. She had managed to wrestle all the girls together to attend Yerim’s video game club meeting. Yerim did a lot for them so it’s only fair that she pay her back, even if it meant having to bribe Chaewon. 

 

“Wow. If I had known it was going to be a sleepover I would’ve said yes.” Yeojin whined. 

 

All Sooyoung could do was give her a sympathetic pat in return. 

 

The history wing of the school was a detached building, marking the end of the pavement and start of the sports fields. It was a sad one-story, with twelve classrooms all accessible through the outside. The journey to it was grueling, as it was a trek over the basketball courts, past the cafeteria, and gymnasium. 

 

It was in this building that Mr. Kim taught world history. He was decidedly the most popular teacher in the school, and for good reason. Sooyoung had him her first year and his class besides being an easy pass, was mostly Mr. Kim talking about his past career as a model or actor or idol or whatever he felt like being that day. It was about the most fun in class she had that year. 

 

His popularity did not extend to the club that he advised. 

 

When they arrived to the classroom they were greeted by the overpowering presence of the club’s officers. Yerim sat chatting to Mr. Kim, who was trying to fix his floppy hair in a mirror. While Jinsoul ran around the classroom picking up trash left by the class before. Jungkook was taking a nap at one of the desks. There was one more member, and Sooyoung scanned the classroom looking for her Japanese friend, who had taken up the position of Treasurer due to being one of the few people actually interested in the club. For her to not be here was quite strange.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and the blast of hot air that came with it. From the opening came out a short girl with short hair to match. She had an air of indifference and confidence and she made her way directly to Yerim.

 

“Mina couldn’t come, she’s in the principal’s office.”

 

Sooyoung’s blood pressure shot through the roof as her thoughts raced. They got Mina. They knew the mask was hers. Mina would never snitch on her so she would probably take all the blame. She had gotten her friend in trouble. This would never get off her record.

 

“She’s being given some award of recognition for her test scores or something.” The girl continued. 

 

Sooyoung let out a pretty loud sigh of relief, causing her friends to all look at her strangely.

 

“Oh that’s amazing! Tell her I said congrats! You guys must be so proud.” Yerim smiled brighter than the sun. 

 

“Yeah. Everyone’s babying her right now. I got sent to leave because I’m the shortest.” She shrugged. “What can you do.” 

 

Yerim smiled at the girl before her face quickly returned to neutral. “Did she send the Treasurer’s report with you.”

 

“Oh yeah.” The girl pulled a folded paper out of her pocket and placed it on Mr. Kim’s desk. Mr. Kim was still preoccupied with his hair.

 

“Thanks Chae! You know we’re always looking for new members…” Yerim wiggled her brows at the girl but Chaeyoung was nonplussed. 

 

“The art club keeps me busy. I’ll spread the word though.” The girl made her way to the door and made a clean exit.

 

Sooyoung realized she had been watching the entire exchange frozen to one spot, while the rest of her friends had occupied themselves at varying spots in the classroom waiting for the meeting to start. She made her way to Hyunjin and they made casual conversation until the meeting began. There were a few students that wandered their way into the meeting, and she could see the look of satisfaction on Yerim’s face. 

 

There was one student that seemed different from the rest, for when she entered the room everyone turned their heads to look. Sooyoung had never seen the girl before, and for a moment the hairs on the back of her neck raised, it felt like she had seen a ghost. 

 

The girl was pale, with flowing black hair, about the blackest Sooyoung had ever seen. It seemed that everything about her lacked color, with her outfit giving no indication of any inclination to personality. The only pop of color was her lipstick, with a redness that so contrasted to the rest of her it seemed to be the place everyone wanted to look. She looked at everyone with the blankest of stares, and everyone’s heads turned away once more.

 

Sooyoung’s friends had all lost interest, except for Chaewon who stayed fixated on the girl. Sooyoung waved her hand in front of the girls face and she flinched away. 

 

“Jesus Chae, what’s up? You think she’s cute or what?”

 

The girl furiously shook her head. “I know her. She’s in my Chem class and it’s really weird that the same thing happened.”

 

Hyunjin chuckled nervously. “What do you mean?”

 

“She walks in and like sucks the air out of the room. She’s intense, but she didn’t speak once in class.”

 

“Peak Emo.” Hyunjin responded.

 

“I thought it was goth.” Sooyoung scratched her head. She looked back at the girl, who sat stiffly at the back of the room, with no one within a ten foot radius of her. “She looks oddly familiar too.”

 

Hyunjin hummed. “Have you watched The Ring recently?”  

 

Chaewon moved to hit her but Hyunjin was too fast and was on the other side of Sooyoung before she could blink. Sooyoung was still lost in thought. 

 

“Do you think she needs friends?” She wondered aloud. Chaewon moved to speak but they were all interrupted by Yerim’s whistle. 

 

She smiled brightly before beginning the meeting. She went through all the basics of a club’s first meeting, going over all the planned events and activities that the club puts on. Yerim was sure to give the boring topics for Jungkook to deliver after he had woken up mid-meeting. The meeting was drawing to a close when the door suddenly opened to two surprising additions. 

 

For reasons completely inexplicable to Sooyoung, upon seeing the first face, her flight-or-flight response activated. 

 

She locked eyes with Kim Jiwoo, and however uncharacteristically of her, she was the first to look away. She didn’t know what about that girl made her feel like a coward. A hand gripped her arm and pulled her out of her thoughts. 

 

“I’m leaving.” Hyunjin’s expression was grave and her face lacked color. 

 

Sooyoung didn’t question the girl. She turned to their friends. “Make sure to tell us what we missed.” She grabbed Hyunjin, and pulled towards the exit. As she did, she sent a single glance at the pair.

 

It was then that she saw the reason for their flight. Jeon Heejin looked pained, almost wincing as she watched them make their way out. Jiwoo’s expression was level and they locked eyes once more. And once more, Sooyoung looked away first.

 

Once outside, and the classroom fast behind them, Hyunjin’s pace didn’t slow down. At this point she was the one dragging them away. 

 

Sooyoung was passive for a moment, letting her thoughts overtake her.

 

Part of her knew she couldn’t let her friend keep running. The more she thought about it the more bitter the taste in her mouth grew. She didn’t even know Heejin, never holding a conversation with the girl. Yet the broken expression on her face cut into something deep within her. Hyunjin wasn’t a coward about anything else, why did she have to be involving one of the most important people in her life.

 

Sooyoung stopped dead in her tracks, tugging Hyunjin’s arm to stop her as well. “Wait!”

 

Hyunjin turned around wildly, with nervous eyes that danced from Sooyoung back to the door of Mr. Kim’s classroom. As if she were expecting Heejin to bust out of it at any moment. She huffed, “What now?”

 

“Not to be an asshole, but when are you going to deal with it?” She didn’t mean to sound harsh, but immediately she saw that her words didn’t sit well with her friend.

 

Hyunjin deeply frowned. “What do you mean  _ deal with it _ ?”

 

They played a game of not saying her name for a long time as if the poor girl were Voldemort. Even a little progress was good enough, they needed to at least use names.

 

After taking a deep breath Sooyoung sighed.“Heejin.”

 

Hyunjin ripped her hand away, walking a few feet to create distance. She turned and crossed her arms.“Why don’t you deal with your own problems Sooyoung.”

 

“Like what?” She felt her temper flare. “Enlighten me Hyunjin.”

 

Hyunjin was red with anger. “The fact that you’re still hung up on Jinsoul. Or the fact that you disappeared a whole summer and still haven’t told anyone anything about it.” Hyunjin’s voice travelled across the basketball courts. 

 

“Sorry I don’t want to talk about my fucking Dad.” She was sure she was yelling too, but neither of them cared. “And at least I can still be in the same room as Jinsoul and don’t run away like a coward every time I see her.”

 

Hyunjin’s face twisted up angrily, and she looked like she wanted to hit her. “It’s not the same and you know that.”

 

“Say it then. Why is it not the same.” Sooyoung regarded her with a cold expression, but she had a reason to. 

 

Hyunjin pressed her mouth into a thin line and glowered at her.

 

Sooyoung was unimpressed. “Coward.”

 

“So you want to know?”

 

“Coward.” 

 

“You really want to know?”

 

“Coward!” 

 

“Fine! Fucking hell. It’s because he was my best friend. There. That’s the part that drives me absolutely bonkers. That he was my best friend and he knew! He knew because I told him and that exact day he made sure to ask her before I did! I didn’t even know he felt that way. I mean I knew, I wasn’t stupid. But he never told me, and I told him. And the fact that after she told me, the first thing I did was drive my fist into his jaw. Yeah that was the shittiest part. Because after that I didn’t have the girl and I didn’t have any god damn friends either. But you already knew all that.” Hyunjin finished out of breath, as if it took all her energy to say all of that. She was a little teary eyed too, but she angrily wiped away the wetness. She turned away and took off. 

 

Sooyoung didn’t feel it would be right to follow. Sometimes Hyunjin was better off cooling off alone. She needed to make sure of something though. 

 

“Hey!” She called out.

 

Hyunjin paused midstep. 

 

“Are we still walking home together?” She asked. It was a serious question, but she also needed to know if she pushed too much.

 

Hyunjin waited another moment. Before she continued walking and Sooyoung’s heart sank. Only just as she felt a jolt of pain in her heart, the girl turned around and while her glance held little affection, her words warmed her heart. “Of course Sooyoung.” 

 

Sooyoung watched the girl leave before shaking her head. She didn’t expect them to fight, but what the hell, you reap what you sow Sooyoung. 

 

“Fucking hot head.” She whispered to herself. She decided to return to the meeting to at least update her friends. She stood outside the door for a second, preparing herself for the sea of eyes that would undoubtedly watch her as she reentered. 

 

When she pulled the door open, she saw that everyone in the room was gathering their things and getting ready to leave. She was relieved to find that only a few people turned to look. One of which had to be Kim Jiwoo. Jiwoo approached her, and she almost ran, but she had just chided Hyunjin for doing the same. 

 

Jiwoo eyed her curiously as she approached. “Is your friend okay Sooyoung?” 

 

Sooyoung was surprised by the familiar way in which she was addressed. Jiwoo talked to her like they had been friends for years. She had expected a confrontation, or even just a more aggressive tone. She turned her head to see Heejin also confused, looking at the both of them strangely. 

 

Heejin’s eyebrows were raised. “You two know each other?” 

 

Jiwoo grabbed Sooyoung’s arm and pulled her to her side. “Of course!” She said brightly. 

 

Sooyoung looked wildly at Jiwoo. Sooyoung was painfully hyper aware of the contact, not only because she wasn’t the most physically affectionate person, but also because any kind of touch from a pretty stranger sent her reeling. 

 

_ Wait. Pretty?  _ Her face heated up. She shook her head to snap out of her thoughts, these were problems for later.  _ Get it together Sooyoung. _

 

She awkwardly returned the side embrace, feeling her face burn. “Yeah. Totally. Great buddies!” 

 

“Since when?” 

 

Sooyoung looked at Jiwoo to answer for them, since she had no idea what she was playing at. The girl met her eyes with a grateful smile.“We were friends in middle school! And recently caught up.” 

 

Sooyoung added a measly, “Yup.” They had been in the embrace long enough for her. She awkwardly stepped out of the side hug and coughed. “So…”

 

Heejin bit her lip. “Is Hyunjin alright?” 

 

Sooyoung sobered up at her tone. Heejin’s face full of worry struck another chord in her. “Yeah.  She’s fine. “ Sooyoung said softly. 

 

Heejin nodded at them both. “Then I’ll let you two be.” 

 

As soon as Heejin left, Sooyoung’s friends started to leave too. Vivi and Jinsoul looked at her and Jiwoo with confused glances, Yerim watched them with amusement, and Chaewon and Yeojin looked proud. Chaewon even hollered on her way out “way to go Sooyoung!” Which made her want to die on the spot. 

 

She turned to Jiwoo feeling a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance that was definitely showing on her face. “What the hell was that?” While she was annoyed, and kept her lips pressed into a thin line. She couldn’t help but notice

 

Jiwoo smiled an easygoing smile at her. “Thanks for not running away this time.” The girl smiled a lot, and Sooyoung didn’t quite dislike that. She almost wanted to return it. “I have a plan. I just need you to pass one more test for me.”

 

Sooyoung tilted her head to the side. “A test?” 

 

Jiwoo pointed a finger to her chest, that Sooyoung had to do everything in her power not to fixate on. This girl really liked touching. “Go to the video game club thing tomorrow at Yerim’s.” 

 

While it was an easy task, she didn’t understand why the girl was asking it of her. She didn’t understand why she wasn’t mad at her. And she didn’t understand why she was being tested. Her confusion probably showed on her face because Jiwoo started giggling, and for a moment she thought she was being messed with, until Jiwoo made her way to the door. 

 

As she opened it, she turned back to Sooyoung with that same easy going smile. “See you tomorrow.” 

 

Sooyoung stood there dumbly. Waiting in the empty classroom, empty save for Mr. Kim who was texting someone on his phone. She almost felt dizzy from the way her day had gone. It seemed like she was destined to never feel peace. 

 

“She seems kinda kooky, but she’s pretty, so good one kid.” Mr. Kim held his hand up for a high five. 

 

And Sooyoung was too tired to correct him as she returned it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone yell at me so i update more often. 
> 
> also everytime someone comments, no matter how short. i scream every time.  
> thank you for reading my nonsense


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